I will be APM’s trainer

As I gulped a cold beer, at peace with myself last Friday evening, it felt so good to see President Peter Mutharika in high spirits on television while watching a rebroadcast of a press conference he addressed earlier on in Lilongwe.
Sporting a fresh bob cut, the President went to town with those who peddled exaggerated stories about his ‘robust health’, boasting: “I am alive. I will be around for sometime.”—virtually ending my hopes of ‘marrying’ the First Lady.
But the big-shot thrilled my world when he joked of arranging a 12-round bout with boxing icon Isaac ‘Golden Boy’ Chilemba, declaring that he would give him a third round knockout.
So, as he prepares for a showdown against Chilemba, I have taken it upon myself  to be his sparring partner and trainer, you never know, mwina nkupata timachenje ta ku America, dollar sinama!
Having watched him ‘slip’ during one of his official functions recently, I know one of APM’s weak area is balancing and that will be the key areas that I will focus on. His  other drawback is, of course, his pot belly and I believe a session of sit-ups will do the trick  to get him into the right frame and develop a ‘six-pack’.
On another lighter note, the President bragged about having nine lives, saying he has been dead and resurrected nine times, but only if he can survive Chilemba’s powerful right jab, can he really boast to have ‘nine lives. AOB: Man U yapeza polekela ayisambwaza, ayisasantha, ayikang’antha, ayibandula, ayikuntha, ayitibula..akudutsa nyengo zowawa. Uloliwe wayidudula, neng’esiza hah! (Oh yes, the train is pushing). Glory be to God.n

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