Soft on Chakwera, hard on Mutharika
Abiti Joyce Befu, also known as MG 66, decided to buy two skirts and an assortment of orange, blue, and green T-shirts and blouses curtsey of Sheikh Jean-Philippe’s largesse. Native Authority Mandela declined to get anything. Sheikh Jean-Philippe, SC, asked the only Native Authority in Malawi why he did not want to pick anything. Native Authority Mandela said he preferred receiving money to secondhand clothing.
“The problem with you donors is that you don’t ask what the people want to help really need, ” NA Mandela said.
“I am not a donor!” Sheikh Jean- Philippe protested.
“You are,” Sheikh Jean-Philippe insisted, “Anyone who sources materials and money to give to people he or she doesn’t even know is a donor!”
“But, I know you. We have been together for more than three weeks, now,” Sheikh Jean-Philippe said, “Please don’t misunderstand my philanthropy.”
“But, you did not care to ask me about what I want! I did not even ask you to buy anything for me. Why did you choose to buy me secondhand clothes?”
“Are we going to Sunny Sand Holiday Reserve for lunch?” I asked principally to curtail the dialogue between Sheikh Jean-Philippe and Native Authority Mandela.”
“We sure must go. A hot dog would do me a lot of good,” Sheikh Jean-Philippe said.
“What is a hot dog, by the way? Some people believe it is made from dog meat,” MG 66 asked jokingly.
“Whatever is edible and does not make you sick is food,” I said.
“Even snakes, human beings, crocodiles and pigs?” MG 66 wondered.
“I used to be very choosy but when I saw what people in other countries eat, I concluded that indeed ‘yagwa m’mbale ndi ndiwo’,” Native Authority Mandela said.
We finally agreed not to visit Sunny Sand Holiday Reserve, Andrea’s Lodge and Mbwadzulu Hotel to save money for the evening because we had heard an announcement on the radio that the Black Missionary School would be playing at Zimatherapano. Native Authority Mandela suggested that we rest at Istanbul for a meal and drink.
“Istanbul? Where is that? Sheikh Jean-Philippe asked.
“Just brace yourself for Madeko, the Mecca of Entertainment in the Republic of Mangochi. Zimatherapano, Istanbul, Twin Towers, Sunny Bird Nkopola, you name it, it is there,” I said.
“And tonight is the night which will sort out juveniles from adults” MG 66 declared.
We all laughed. Then Native Authority Mandela asked if there was any difference between the President of the Malawi Congress Party and the President of the DPP.
“Yeah. Chakwera is a former church reverend while Mutharika is a former university professor,” I said.
“No difference. Both are vying for state house to enrich themselves!” MG 66 said.
“But why are they treated differently by journalists and political analysts?” Native Authority Mandela probed.
“That’s rather harsh. Can we let NA Mandela finish his inquiry?” Sheikh Jean-Philippe proposed.
“It surprises me that when Petro Mutharika allegedly declared that if he became president he would not allow any country to claim any part of Lake Malawi the media, religious leaders, political analysts, and villagers like myself condemned him as a war monger. But, the same political analysts, journalists, media and religious leaders are stone quiet about Lazaro Chakwera’s remarks concerning the lake. Why? Are they not both called war mongers?”
“Aren’t they?” I said.
“Why are the so-called journalists, Lake Malawi experts and political analysts soft on Chakwera and hard on Mutharika when both uttered words that would qualify them as war mongers?”
