Let me say this yet again and again until it sinks in. Stop greeting people with exclamations about how they look. It is impolite. Period. I wrote about this years back, but alas! Nothing has changed. I recently graced some corridors elsewhere when this supposed friend rushed to greet a friend she had not seen in a while. She was like: “Ase wasowa. Koma bwanji, ukudwala?” Despite the other woman’s clarification that she was alright, this bombardier insisted: “Ayi Sue, ukunama ukudwala. Nangakuondaku? Simmene ndimakudziwila. Ma hipi aja anapita kuti iwe?
Another woman in my office retorted angrily to a comment on her weight gain. “Koma nde wanenepatu. Chimkono chonchi. Anthu angadye bwinotu!” Despite the subtle responses to wade off the ‘attacker’, he did not relent. Aaaa, osathokoza bwnaji ndikukuyamikila? Her annoyance was understandable.
Many believe they have a right to comment on how others look. Our society tends to assume that weight gain is a sign of wealth and prosperity; hence, showering one with ‘compliments’ of weight gain is not just welcome, but an entitlement. The chubby fellow ought to be indebted to the observer, so many believe.
Let me tell you something. Learn to shut up and keep certain comments to yourself. People grapple with many issues in their lives and nobody needs to rub them to their faces. Just because someone has put on weight does not mean it was embraced. They may be going through stress and mental matters that prompt one to eat as a coping mechanism. They are aware they are putting on weight from coping and when you bring it to them in that manner, it exacerbates a situation. Some maybe reacting to medications or simply losing control of their anatomy. Yet others are fighting stubborn fat that resist any gym workout or diets. I know others smile when told they are bigger, but this should not be assumed to apply willy nilly. Words hurt or heal, so be very careful.
That person who has lost weight may be from years or months of trying to shed kilos achieved through dieting or exercising. They are proud and happy and for one to recklessly accuse them of being sick is unwarranted for. Others maybe be recuperating from a long illness, reacting to medications or stressed which also affects appetite. Some just don’t have control over their weight loss. They are conscious and maybe uncomfortable. Stop body shaming people.
Whether you observe someone to have gone a shade or two lighter and even darker, zip it!! Its’ rude and uncalled for to shout; eeee, kuyelaku? Mwaima kapena mankhwala akuyanjani? Muli bho amzathu. Deprozoni kapena?? Or; iiiii, ase wadaaaa!! Bwanji?? Nde akudatu mankhwala!! Uli bwino bwino koma kapena kusamba mankhwala??? STOP!! You are not the world’s keeper. Everyone has flaws or is grappling with one thing or the other. Don’t embarrass people with careless utterances. You only worsen situations. Sicknesses, make-overs and general appearances are individual choices. Don’t meddle unless you are asked to comment or advise.
Mpakana kunena amzanu kuti akalamba??
