What do men want in a relationship?

When people are getting into a relationship, there are expectations from both parties. Although sometimes these expectations are known, at times they are vague. People vary from what they like so it is important for one to understand what the other partner wants.

Lovemore Chikuni, who is based in Mzuzu, says he does not want a perfect partner but someone who will complement him. Chikuni says he expects trust, love and mutuality.

“I want my partner and I to be a team that even with all our faults and failures we should be able to work things out and live together”

Edward Governor, who exchanged wedding vows with Prudence Kasinja last Sunday, said he is looking forward to a happy and reproductive life with his partner.

“Apart from baby making [he giggles], I expect love, respect and understanding from my wife,” said Governor.

While a Chancellor College graduate who works in Blantyre and has just recently got married, says he expects his partner to somewhat be like his mother. He says the first love experience every man gets is mother’s love; hence, mothers set standards of how a wife or partner should behave in a relationship.

“For example, from my mother I learnt patience. When I messed up my father would come and shout at me or even beat me up. But my mother would understand and comfort me without judging me,” he said.

Another respondent from Blantyre who simply called himself Michael said we all need to be loved but things have changed in modern days as men look for a sexual partner and not necessarily a love partner.

“It is unfortunate that some men only expect sexual pleasure. Love should be paramount in a relationship and the rest should follow,” said Michael.

Hastings Maponya, who is based in Kachere, said a woman should be understanding and loving.

Maponya says he expects a woman to be trustworthy no matter how far she is from him.

An article on what men want and published on www.powertochange.com, says men want self-sufficient, secure and confident women.

“Men want a woman to choose them out of want rather than out of desperation — either materially or emotionally. Men need to be wanted and needed by their partners, but they want their partners to have a separate identity. Men want a woman to be active and independent, to have her own friends and interests. On the other hand, men treasure time spent with a loving partner,” reads the article in part.

It further says: “Men want a manipulation-free relationship. They do not want to read their partner’s mind or try to interpret signals. They do not want to be forced to move faster in a relationship than they are ready. They do not want to be manipulated into taking all the blame for things gone wrong. They do not want to be on the receiving end of game playing.”