So, this woman went ahead to marry a man that abused her from the onset. He beat her up in public spaces, including at parties and stores. He showed his lack of trust from the get-go, but she decided to give their relationship a chance. This is a man who never hesitated to slap her outside her office just for speaking to a male colleague. Guess what? Several children later and years of wasted affection, she got frustrated and other men seemed her only option.
This other one decided to wed a man who controlled what she wore or applied on her body. Make-up was a no no for him and he seemed to like his woman too plain for her own liking. Once in a while, she would steal a lipstick or paint her nails, but once in marriage, his views were stamped. The first few years were tolerable until the rift started. That was when she questioned his right to stop her choice of clothing. It didn’t end well.
Another decided to comply with his demands of surrendering her salary details to him, including how to spend it. Her paycheck was to be managed by him and the car she bought before their relationship was to be put in his name ‘as the man’. Any joint assets were placed in his name, technically leaving her empty. But love has a way of dying or at least never remains as hot as before. And when it does, the blindness that comes with it from the onset falls off, leaving either parries with eyes wide open in disbelief of what they did for love.
Listen, control comes in many forms and when he doesn’t allow you to speak to your friends— male of female— that is a dangerous route to travel. Beating or demeaning you is a red flag. If he won’t allow you to be yourself, take that next train out if he won’t compromise. A woman loves to look good and if make-up is your thing, don’t allow love to distort it. Keep assets in both your names or in shared ownership. Don’t wait for love to fizzle out before releasing whether it is love or manipulation.
Men control women to make them vulnerable. A vulnerable woman will not see a situation for what it is. And even if she does, leaving or making a helpful decision becomes difficult. That is why many will ask their women to quit their jobs or discard their businesses to manipulate them emotionally, physically or even blackmail them. A helpless woman stays no matter the heat.
Remember, it takes commitment to make a relationship work after love dies. And it dies at some point, trust me. Don’t stay because of his wealth. Don’t even fall in love with it. Search his heart.
