It is funny how everyone who leaves a relationship or gets dumped tells everyone who cares to listen that they were wronged. They will parade narratives that make the other person look bad.
I don’t remember ever meeting someone admitting they messed things up in a relationship that ended. Almost everyone proclaims innocence.
When we get together with someone, unless otherwise, the goal is to make the relationship work and last forever. So, when it ends, it means something did not align or one of the two was not fully in it. As a result, the relationship ended.
But after the relationship, exes engage in a silent battle of who was wronged or who was right.
Then we have those who engage in a silent competition on who is happier after the relationship ends. Like for real, people do whatever they can to get into another relationship soon to flaunt it in front of the world to prove a point that they moved on faster and in a ‘better’ relationship than their previous one.
For me, all of this points to one thing: failure to move on. Because, you know what? Real peace and happiness does not need the world’s approval. Real happiness just happens effortlessly. When we see exes engaging in a battle of happiness, we should know that they are still harbouring feelings for each other. Otherwsie they would not invest so much energy to outdo each other in the happiness department.
A person who is truly over a relationship does not do anything to prove anything; they just live and enjoy life as it is.
Then we have those exes who continue to tell on each other. Issues that were shared between lovers during their time as intimate partners should remain in the past. Coming out to tell others about matters shared in confidence with an ex-lover is beyond malicious.
I wonder why we as a society find such things amusing. In fact, some of us encourage it and find it entertaining. Do we ever pause to reflect as to what this behaviour can do to the other party involved?
I believe relationships are for mature people who should always bear in mind that things shared in confidence must remain such. And when a relationship ends, one must just accept the situation and move on with grace and respect.
This thing of always trying to look like the good one is not only childish, but exhausting and emotional torture to the other party.
I mean, what is so hard about admitting to oneself to say ‘yeah, I screwed up a good relationship’?
I believe for a person to really grow and become better, one of the things they have to do is admit their part in the story. We all cannot be right all the time. If this was the case then we all would have been married to our first love because we would all be perfect.
Let us learn to be honest, mature and discreet if we must.
