Auntie spent night with guard in maize field

Munthu Wamkulu,

You know Thyolo is one of the districts that will face acute hunger this year. I am not saying so off the air, but I come from there and my granny is there. So is my uncle and auntie. Get it right, I am aware of the situation on the ground.

The situation is so bad because most farmers got subsidised fertilizers well into the rainy season and for those who managed to buy the expensive one.

Lucky enough, my uncle had a bumper yield last year.

Now, this week, they went out to harvest, but as they could not finish the whole field on a single day, he employed someone to guard the field over night. Fearing that it could be the guard who would loot the harvest, he allowed the wife to go and guard the guard through the night.

He could have gone, he says, but he is asthmatic.

This has been bothering me for the past three days. What should I do?

KH,

Thyolo.

KH,

It is really unfortunate that bad things happen to good and well-meaning people like your uncle. In the first place, please tell him that where he has harvested maize, he should now plant sweet potatoes, especially orange freshed potatoes which are not only nutritious, but also fetch high prices on the market.

He is such a good man and deserves only the best.

Others could have told you that he should divorce his wife, but I would say no. I am old enough to read between the lines that your fear is that your aunt may have slept with the guard. Do you have the evidence?

Remember, for a marriage to end because of adultery, there is need for two witnesses. So, if it is the issue of a night in the maize field, it does not arise where divorce is concerned. All the same, the wife was only following the biblical teaching that wives should love and submit to their loving husbands.

A wife to keep, this one!

Other weird minds would also tell you to get your aunt and uncle go for an HIV test. What for? That way, will you know that the HIV strain she may have is from the guard even if the guard tests positive as well? We don’t even know if at all the couple was positive before this night in the field affair.

My dear, please advise your uncle to go for a medical test. He needs to see that psychiatrist across the corner. He needs a mental examination, actually. Who thinks like this these days?

I mean, are there no boys in the homestead? For that matter, he shows no remorse for his actions zokankhira pumbwa ku chipwete kapena kulowetsa khoswe wapadzala m’thumba la mtedza wa mbewu.

Finally, please advice your slow-thinking uncle to store the maize he has harvested in Pics Bags, not the ordinary bags where he would apply expired pesticides. With his thinking, you can’t be surprised. n