Dear BMW, I am a 23-year-old office assistant; my work colleagues simply call me the secretary. I have been secretly dating my 45-year-old boss for over a year now. He spoils me with good stuff and money, and I spoil him with my pointy tits and voluptuous thighs. The sex is consensual as we are…

Dear BMW, My brother recently passed on. At the funeral, his wife (my sister-in-law) put up a show I will never forget. The woman has no shame. We watched in shock as she rolled on the ground and bad-mouthed people, including family members. She said ‘we had killed him, her neigbhours had killed him and…

Dear Old Man, I am confused, lost and desperate. I need a man but no one wants me. Here is my story. I am a 28-year-old businesswoman who lives in Lilongwe. I import cheap stuff from China and resell them at exorbitant price to idiots in the Capital. While my business was thriving, my looks…

BMW, I am a married mother of one. My man is a darling, he comes home every night. He brings home his wages so that we don’t have to fight. We have been married for five years and we have a lovely four-year-old daughter as the pride of our home. My husband is charming, humble,…

Big Man, I dread to think about what happened to me as I get nightmares every time I think of it. I have chosen to remain silent for a long time, but I feel there are other women going through the same pain and humiliation. So, allow me to be brief. I was in a…

  Dear BMW, First, let me confess that although ndine mayi wa mvano (a member of the Women’s Guild), I enjoy your column very much. In fact, every Sunday I dash out to buy this paper, sometimes even using the money I wanted kupereka ku church. If truth be told, Biggie you know how to…

Dear Biggie, First, let me confess that I am a fan of this column and I have been following you for the past eight months. In the past I would read your column while sipping a cold beer and laugh with my friends at your responses like idiots. I always thought those who seek your…

Dear BMW, I am a 34-year-old married man. My wife literary does nothing in the house. If she is not at a bridal shower, wedding, her friend’s birthday party or village bank meeting, she is at the pub drinking all night long. The few hours she spends at home, after work, and her frequent business…

Dear Biggie, I am a female college student studying soil science. My problem is that it seems I attract the wrong crowd due to my looks. I am not being mean to average-looking Malawian girls, but BMW I am too beautiful. For you to get the picture, I am light-skinned, tall with an hour-glass figure,…

Dear BMW, I am 28-year-old girl and I live with my older sister. Lately, she has been grumpy. She smashes plates, burns food when she is cooking and shouts at the maid like a maniac. When I asked about her sudden hot temper, I learnt with shock that she has not had sex with her…

Dear BMW, My man of two years is ‘saved’ and can speak in 100 tongues. He consults the heavens whenever he is in a tight situation. He prays before sex and calls his pastor or prophet ‘Daddy’ and the prophet’s wife ‘Mamma or Mammi’. Months can pass without him touching me and when I ask…

Dear BMW, First, let me apologise for bringing tribal issues on this forum, where you only deal with sex-related issues. But I am bothered and I need your help. I am a 24-year-old college graduate based here in South Africa. I have a girlfriend of three years whom I intend to marry. However, my problem…