EveryWoman

Friendliness does not entail attraction

I have understood why over friendliness can sometimes hurt, the hard way. Some people don’t understand that conversing with them does not necessarily mean shared chemistry. Courtesy does not meant physical attraction at all. I thought this was applicable when I engaged a guard at one of the shopping malls when he helped with my trolley. Striking up a conversation with him has come at a huge cost.

Days later, upon returning to the supermarket, he waved at me enthusiastically while claiming to have missed me, on top of his voice. Naturally, I was taken aback at his declaration which was far from mutual. Well, he is entitled to miss whoever and whatever he wishes. I can’t stop him, I thought as I proceed into the shop after responding with a simple, oh? I thought it was over.

On exiting the shop, there he was, grinning for ear to ear after crossing the road to where I was parked. Holding on to my driver’s door, he declared his love interest, inquiring for my contacts. He was mesmerised; he declared and wanted us to be in a relationship. Wow!! The guts, confidence, courage and stupidity. I was in a good mood and caught off guard. I did not unleash my venom, but decided to respond to him with actions, hoping he will understand I do not want him. Well, the first stage has been implemented and I am yet to find out whether the message has sunk in.

Decent men, the kind most equally decent women would like a greeting from or just a second glance, fear approaching women will nilly. They at least strategise and concoct a mirage of lies to unleash on a woman to get her attention. What convinces a guard, button in hand and without hesitance, to chaff any woman he sets his eyes in the cause of duty? Even if he likes what he sees, will he chase every shopping skirt he sees? Is that even ethical? It is a dismissible act if you ask me because it falls under harassing shoppers.

But perhaps we should look at the deeper picture. I have heard stories about women sleeping with their guards, charcoal sellers, garden boys and toy boys. I can’t judge them, it’s their preference and they have reasons. These people discuss about lonely, rich women or the working class, who approach them for such services. Perhaps such tendencies are what’s driving guards to take their chances. Nanga ndichani?

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