How to get over your former partner

Majority of people have a tough time getting over their exes. Some have even committed suicide. Are you wondering how to get over your ex? Perhaps you are feeling pain, loneliness and longing— a sense of emptiness that is hard to shake.

Maybe you are obsessing about what happened, how you were hurt, what you should have said or done to keep your partner or spouse with you.

You may even be blaming yourself that: “I’m such a screw-up” or “I’m damaged and will never get over this divorce.” Or feeling depressed and hopeless, with thoughts such as: “I’m not a good person. I don’t deserve love!” You may be harbouring resentment, anger or rage.

But at times, you may still love your ex and long to have him or her back. No matter what he or she did, whether it is cheating, abuse, abandonment or neglect— which feels strange or illogical, but true nevertheless— don’t worry

All these feelings are quite normal after a breakup or a divorce. We are wired to be strongly attached biologically, emotionally and spiritually to our partners, especially when marriage is involved.

So, part of you may be holding on, while the rest of you knows you need to move on and get over your ex. And you have a strong intuition that once you let go of your ex, you will be a whole lot happier—which is true.

Some tips to move on when getting over your ex. Mark your calendar with activities (virtual or real!) to keep you busy. They can include watching movies with friends, shopping—online or off-line, exercising, watching videos on Youtube on topics that used to be of interest to you, meditating and participating in other professional or social groups. You want to take your attention off your ex.

The most healing place to put your attention is on spiritual or religious activities such prayers or meditations. Spiritual salve is the most healing of all, which has been attested to for thousands of years.

So take walks in nature, listen to spiritual or uplifting music and attend religious services if you are a member of a church or mosque.

Work on yourself. Show yourself what your ex is missing! This will help you feel free of that old relationship. Give yourself a nickname that speaks the best you. I call this your diamond self identity. You can choose words such as triumphant, phoenix, resilient, strong, undaunted or better-than-ever for your nickname.

You get the idea! It is powerful to play with this. Once you get your diamond self identity, you can use it to help you feel even better about yourself! Get a makeover in line with your nickname. Write it down and keep it near your computer, on your mirror and in other places where you can see it every day. You can forget your ex!!