Mulibwanji and his love for politics

(The court is hearing from counsel of Lesson Mulibwanji of the Mulhavani clan who wants the tribunal to register his tribal grouping as a political entity)

Judge Mbadwa: I understand Mr Mulibwanji has opted to represent himself in this case. The tribunal has no problem with that. You can now proceed Mr Mulibwanji to present substantive arguments why you think the Mulhavani clan should be registered as a political entity.

Mulibwanji: My Lord, contrary to popular opinion that all tribal groups are apolitical, we of the Mulhavani cultural group want this court to recognise us as a political group affiliated to the party of Mapuya, the People’s Demagogic Party (PDP).

The way our cultural grouping is structured, you cannot differentiate it from PDP as a party. In fact, the base of PDP is the Mulhavani; hence, it is understandable that our cultural grouping constitutes the majority of the members of PDP.

My Lord, we believe that by openly declaring that the Mulhavani is a group affiliated to the party that  Mapuya is heading,  we will be able to canvass PDP votes among our cultural groups and we will have the political licence to declare the Mulhavani belt a no-go area for other political parties.

Let us face the facts My Lord, all political parties in the country are tribal groupings masquerading as entities pushing for common interests of the populace.

Who doesn’t know that Lazaro’s cockerel is nothing but a collection of Nyanjas from central province while the Yellow Party of Chairman is nothing, but Mdawuko of the people who come from the Eastern Province?  Need I continue why the Alliance against Democracy is synonymous with a particular tribe?

My Lord, it is my submission that as you will be ruling that the Mulhavani clan is affiliated to PDP, all cultural groups representing various tribes will be compelled to declare the parties they stand for.

If there are other doubting Thomases that we are an exclusive party grouping promoting the interests of Mapuya because of few misguided members from other tribes, they should take it from me that those are either the greedy or the cunning type who want to partake in the Mulhavani spoils.

But a cursory look at various portfolios both in government and parastatals will show that the deviants from other tribes occupy inconsequential positions. This largely supports my submission that PDP is a party for the Mulhavani to advance the interests of this clan.

There is nothing like sharing the national cake in our vocabulary; hence, the reason we are saying cultural groups do not exist outside politics.

We cannot allow any Mulhavani to be supporting Lazaro’s cockerel or Sauli’s Movement just like it is sheer madness for the Nyanjas, Ngunis and the Balowokas to be dancing Tchopa.

Why do we want to be recognised as a political grouping of the PDP type? We want to freely support our homeboy Mapuya without compunction and those who want to join the blue gravy train when we assume power after 20th May should first become Mulhavinis or friends of the Mulhavanis. I rest my case.

Mbadwa: If you are really serious about registering your tribal grouping as a political entity; why can’t you just deregister it first as a cultural group and announce that you have amalgamated with PDP. You cannot be a cultural group and a political movement at the same time. This tribunal has given you seven days to choose the direction you will follow or your case will be dismissed.

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