I am beside myself with anger and jealousy. My husband of five years is obsessed with social networks such as Facebook and WhatsApp. That, however, is the least of my worries. What rattles me is that he has never posted pictures of our children or mine on his Facebook, or, for that matter, put my photo or the children as his display picture on his WhatsApp profile.
On some occasions in the past I have tried to tag him in my pictures on Facebook but he would always untag himself. Then there are these silly girls who like every status he posts on Facebook. I must confess here, I have told off a few girls. What gets under my skin more than anything else is that under marital status on his Facebook profile, he indicates that he is ‘in a relationship’. Just like that! I asked him about it and his response was anything but civil.
I am out of my wits. Should I be worried, Biggie? Is my husband putting himself in the shop window?
Sarah by email
What more can a man do? He is in a relationship with you, right? What is the problem there? And I am assuming you stay with your husband and the children. He already sees enough of you every day of his life. Why else would he need to see you in cyberspace? It is his profile and he can post the pictures of his choice.
His profile is not a family photo album or a cyber-balaza. You are lucky he has never posted pictures of his ex-girlfriends so far. But if you continue stalking him in cyberspace, that is what I fear he will do. I did that once when some woman was on my case 24/7. Now she is my ex-wife.
Besides, tell me one good reason he or you should post pictures of your children. Do you really think your children would approve to be drooled at by paedophiles prowling the cyberspace? Your children need some privacy as much as your husband does. Let them grow away from the prying eyes of the public, especially the cyber-predators.
By the way, long before Facebook came into being, when Mark Zuckerberg was still in diapers, people could still make out who was married, who was an MBA (married but available), who was single, who was in a complicated relationship, who was divorced, who was heartbroken, who was in an open relationship…
For instance, married men tend to spot happy faces when they are with their wives around other people—it is just meant to disguise the pain they are going through back home—but have long faces when she is not around. Few of them want to get home in a hurry. Married women always have a frown and a look as if they want to eat you alive. Single women tend to play hard to get. Divorced men and women have grumpy, suspicious faces, especially in the presence of members of the opposite sex. Heartbroken girls have the look as if they are a nudge away from breaking down in tears. You can tell just by looking at someone’s face. I still can. And the girls you claim are swarming around your husband know he is married because he has the look—but they also know he is open to business: an MBA.
Lastly, my dearest Sarah, stop your obsession with your man’s profiles and the women who ‘like’ his pictures. You, my dear, have what psychologists call an inferiority complex. And it is bad for your health.
Big Man Wamkulu