Big Man Wamkulu

One round and I fell pregnant, what should I do?

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Dear BMW,

Someone once said that this world is very complex to understand; married couples will be having sex like there is no tomorrow and no pregnancy will show up meanwhile a single person gets pregnant with just one round lasting no longer than 60 seconds.

This has happened to me. I have been dating my boyfriend for four months. He is the guy who deflowered me. The day we did it, it wasn’t even a steamy session, the kind of session women talk about at work. It was a two-minute boring experience that now has resulted in pregnancy. When I alerted my boyfriend, he was scared to death and insisted that I abort the baby. He thinks we can’t bring a baby to this world without having a stable financial income and also because we both still live with our parents.

I am scared to do it because something keeps telling me I might not be able to give birth again, then on the other hand I am afraid how my family will react if I tell them I am pregnant.

BMW, I am really confused; how do married women have sex daily and not fall pregnant while we, single people, fall pregnant so easily, and most importantly, should I go ahead and abort the baby?

Tasha B, via WhatsApp, Capital City

 Dearest Tasha B,

Don’t you know condoms? Don’t you know pharmacies that sell the rubbers. But then, that is not my issue here.

Let us clear one thing for you singles. Married people are one sad lot and never ever assume that they romp every day, because I can tell you that the mood swings and bad temper you see in married women and men are technically a result of ‘dry spells’. Of course, there is no scientific study to back this fact. But my point is, those sad, depressed, about to get divorced people, hardly hit the sack and even when they do it once in three months, they rarely get pregnant because they have too many marital problems. You get my gist, I guess.

Now that we got that out of the way, let me deal with the issue at hand. You are both stupid! You can’t afford a baby and can’t also afford condoms? Check it out.

Who in this age does not know that raw sex—although might be sweet—has devastating consequences? Ever heard of sexually transmitted infections?  And Tasha B, reading between the lines, I have a feeling you are 18 or underage. You should have known that at your age, you should stay away from raw sex.

So, should you carry or let it go? Honestly, who am I to make a decision for you guys? My only advice is stay away from each other because you too are idiots and have no future together.  I think, it is better you stay home with your parents. Confess to them what you did. They are the ones who have your best interest at heart.

Leave that idiot of a boyfriend. He doesn’t deserve any two minutes from you!

If you can’t buy into my two tambala thought, hit the road for a safe termination if you can afford it. Don’t get caught though because the law is not on the side of fools like you.

Ndanena ndanena.

Big Man Wamkulu

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