I recently stepped into the premises of a certain service provider, eager to secure a new connection. To my surprise, I was promptly directed to a different location to obtain a quotation first.
“Shall I settle the payment there?” I enquired, my brow furrowed in bewilderment.
“No, you’ll need to bring the quotation back and make your payment here,” I was informed, leaving me utterly bemused.
Subsequently, I sought help to have my existing service transferred. With a courteous smile, I was directed to yet another location, two or three kilometres away. Wasting no time, I made my way there, fuelled by optimism and the hope of prompt assistance. Upon arrival, I inquired about the engineer’s office and was shown the way. However, when I presented my case, I was told to go to location A to collect the application forms. Ironically, location A was the very place where someone had previously advised me to visit this current location.
Naturally, my anticipation dissolved into a cocktail of exasperation and bewilderment. Why on earth should a client be subjected to such a merry-go-round of inefficiency? Honestly, it is beyond comprehension. There are aspects of this country’s systems that leave me utterly perplexed and this is one of them.
Another perplexing issue is the practice of asking citizens reporting a crime or providing a statement at the police station to disclose their tribe. In today’s diverse and increasingly intermingled Malawian society, such information seems irrelevant. Encouraging individuals to identify primarily by tribal affiliation feels regressive and serves no constructive purpose.
The colonial administrators, whose concern for native interests was, at best, questionable, seemingly devised a method of collecting statistics that tracked crime trends along tribal lines. Perhaps they aimed to discern which tribe exhibited a greater propensity for crime than another, thereby allowing them to allocate resources accordingly. It is important to remember that, during that era, we were not a unified nation, but rather, as Kamuzu Banda aptly described, “a collection of quarrelling tribes.”
To perpetuate colonial-era practices in today’s Malawi is utterly baffling. Someone ought to recognise these outdated relics and eliminate them. Now that we are a unified nation, we must act in ways that preserve our national cohesion by identifying ourselves as Malawians, not merely as members of individual tribes. Whether one is Yao, Chewa, Ngoni, Tonga, or any combination thereof, such affiliations should be considered supplementary to one’s identity.
Another aspect that leaves me utterly perplexed is the behaviour of some pedestrians on our roads. Even the busiest highways can abruptly transform into bustling marketplaces at certain centres. Motorists must remain constantly vigilant to avoid colliding with individuals who frequent these markets, whether as traders or buyers. Some people dart across the roads at these marketplaces with little regard for oncoming traffic. Anyone driving through Limbuli or Nkando in Mulanje, Thunga in Thyolo, Kampepuza or Lizulu in Ntcheu, Chimwaza in Dowa, among other places, will observe that entire highways become besieged by traders and buyers, effectively reducing them to market lanes. Navigating these areas demands immense patience from motorists to prevent unnecessary accidents. Jenda, in Mzimba, once presented similar challenges, but thanks to the cooperation of the local community, the market has been relocated to a site away from the main road. Other trading centres along highways should follow suit.
Another area that leaves me utterly perplexed is the behaviour of some pedestrians at ‘give way’ zones, particularly those leading into roundabouts. The most logical course of action for a pedestrian would be to pass behind a vehicle poised at the edge of the ‘give way’ line, ready to emerge into the roundabout. At this juncture, a driver’s attention is primarily focused on the right, scanning for oncoming traffic within the roundabout. A pedestrian approaching from the left and passing in front can easily go unnoticed, creating a hazardous situation. This lack of awareness and consideration from some pedestrians not only endangers themselves but also places undue pressure on motorists striving to navigate these intersections safely.
Yet another perplexing matter is the wording on marriage certificates presented to newlyweds in church. The language seems to have been inherited wholesale from the colonial administrators. Instead of stating the actual ages of the bride and groom, the certificates refer to their “apparent age” – a term that harks back to a time when many individuals were unaware of their exact birth dates; age had to be estimated based on appearance. However, those days are long behind us. In today’s Malawi, where birth registration is increasingly common, it is high time someone took the initiative to update these antiquated documents.’
