The folly of blaming the other woman
On Facebook the other day, a distraught married woman told of how a young single woman had wrecked her marriage.
According to the posting, which was probably circulated to thousands of Facebook users, the seemingly “hot” young lady is on the prowl for married men with the fattest wallets in town. The complainant’s husband had already fallen victim to the young woman’s charms.
As expected, the angry woman—who was playing Good Samaritan by warning others whose husbands would make good prey for the woman—fully blamed the young woman for the collapse of her marriage.
There is this tendency, especially among women, to wage a war against ‘the mistress’, also known as the other woman, when a husband strays.
In anger, many married women physically or verbally attack the rival, slut or home wrecker, but I have never really understood why the mistress is branded as the devil in the cheating game.
For one, she may not even be in the know about the existence of a wife in the man’s life as some men pretend to be single, so, she is, perhaps, just a victim of his lies.
Or, if she knows about the better half’s existence, it is often through demonising narrations from the husband. Thus, she is brainwashed to think she is a sanctuary for a troubled man.
The possibility of the other woman lying in wait for the husband cannot, of course, be ruled out, but it still makes little sense to direct anger at her when it’s the husband’s loyalties to his wife that have failed.
What’s more, attacking the other woman does not in any way change the way your husband feels about you. While in your thinking you pretend that if it hadn’t been for that other person, there would have never been an affair, that is not true because the fact is, and you know it deep within your heart, there would have been another woman still; it just would have been a different one.
Without trying to side with the woman who goes out with married men, married women should realise that their men are not tricked or forced into extra-marital affairs.
The painful truth remains that husbands venture into such relationships willingly, with a fully functional brain.
Among your threesome—you, your husband and the mistress—there is only one home wrecker, one cheat, one betrayer.
But in the state of anger, despair, betrayal, women tend to lose focus of the real problem, even if it stares them right in the face and shares their bed.
Instead of wasting time demonising the other woman on Facebook; instead of ramming your anger down the throats of Facebook users who have no business whatsoever with what is happening in your family, try to sober up and focus on the real problem—the husband.
Blame the one who betrayed your marriage vows.
Deal with the one who brought a third player in this marriage, because unless the root cause of the mess is dealt with, the rivals will keep on coming and it is just a matter of time before another other woman features on the scene.
