Men often brag or grumble about being bombarded with lists of things lacking in the home. They call them zolengeza and in their chit chats, they find it absurd for the wives, partners or side chicks to ask for money early in the morning to stock up on the necessities. We all have just woken up for crying out loud. What time did I make the money they are demanding, eti ase, the chats go.
And also, women are constantly referred to as this other gender that perpetually demands money for upkeep, phone bundle, hair and make-up, bombarding men, some of whom they have never met. And because of a few such women, many are ostracized for taking advantage of men or relationships as their meal ticket or mere financial transactions. Some men even use money against those women blinded by material. They make women do all sorts of nasty things on the promise of huge pay-outs or will abandon them when needed the most. Yet others cheat just to punish misers.
But these are not the days to be sitting idle or living beyond one’s means by relying on someone’s pocket for survival. If even happy marriages can be rocked by financial woes, what more with a transactional relationships? Many abuses stem from financial disagreements. Most baby daddies are the biggest culprits of dangling financial aid for sex and many will give money conditionally. Why then entangle yourself in such financial slavery when both men and women have abilities to make money. What men can do, women can too.
The stories about women from Chikwawa District on pages three and six should inspire women to strive for independence. This is not to discourage relationships or promote disrespect. It is about rising up to tackling development positively, replacing the many names in the contacts saved as ‘blessers’ and looking to God to bless the work of your hands.
What’s the point of looking like a million kwachas when none of it belongs to you, but blessers whose tenure in your life is never guaranteed? What happens when they leave or you become ‘unattractive’ enough for them to notice you? Will you keep up the competition with the upcoming crop of divas? What’s the point of drinking a cheaper brand of alcohol behind the scenes and pretend to be worth more once offered a round. I have seen women order exotic drinks and food just to impress that they belong to a certain class.
Women, take charge of your lives to earn respect. You cannot go about befriending the rich and the famous to simply to satisfy your desires of living large. Amatopatu azibambowa ndipo amazunza ngati mulibe pogwira. Rise up and make your own money. Being yourself and normal is quite attractive.
