Should I change the way I dress for him?

Dear BMW,

A few years ago, I started dating a man who made it clear he had issues with my wardrobe choice, which he termed was good but ‘very provocative’. At that time, I was in the university where I developed a penchant for parties, miniskirts and low-cut tops.

I also joined social media sites where I am a slay queen and I have hundreds of followers who ‘like’ my posts. I have to look dope to regularly share my nice pictures with my followers.

That’s why I love dressing up and looking sexy. Naturally, I feel good when I show a little leg, a glimpse of my boob and skirt that teases. I like mixing colours and trying new styles. And I like turning heads! Is that a crime?

Of course, I know my sense of style is little too bold sometimes as a fashionist because I do go commando underneath more often and really do not care what others think so long I do not have a pantyline, I look good and sexy in my mini.

But now my man says he has had enough of my diva lifestyle and does not want me on his side during public events, because I embarrass him.

Should I stop partying and change the way I dress for him? I love my man and I do not want to lose him because I am not working and I depend on him for my diva lifestyle.

Le Diva, via WhatsApp, Soche Quarry, Blantyre


Dearest Le Diva

I know there are tonnes of girls out there whose boyfriends make them cover up because they think they dress too hot.  These people are hypocrites because the day they met you, whether during the day or night, they saw what you were wearing and they liked it.

When a man who loved to see you in miniskirts and crop tops starts claiming he is now only attracted to you when you dress in a certain way, isn’t worth your time.

Biggie believes it is okay for women to want to look nice for their significant other but remain true to themselves all times. So, in short, don’t lose yourself trying to please this man. He is an idiot.

But wait a minute, sometimes, wamisala adona nkhondo. Your man has a point.

Sometimes I get angry with the way slay queens, especially Malawian slay queens, such as yourself dress up.

Please, understand me. I am not a male chauvinist or a sext, as one idiot advocate wants all of us to believe that holding a different view from that of women means you have everything to do with women. Biggie loves women.

But you and your fellow slay queens want to choke everyone else on social media with how beautiful you feel and your blond opinions! The first time I met a diva in fresh and blood (pun not intended) and listened to her, I felt like throwing up.

Minutes into the conversation, her true colours always manifest, they are clueless on matters of national importance. They want to speak English all the time, but every sentence is littered with ‘damn’ and countless “Oh my ghash”. I pity them.

Sometimes, I am forced to agree with those who say divas put flowers on their heads to pay respect to their dead brains.

Fellow countrymen watch out for slay queens or divas. With her make up, a diva will look like any international celebrity or model. If you are ‘unlucky’ enough to meet one of these queens without her make up, you will be forgiven for thinking that a dead woman has resurrected!

A slay queen does not work. She hustles (how I do not know). But they would rather sleep hungry and don the latest dress, weave or shoes. If you are one of those slay queens or divas, which sleep and dream about new shoes all the time, please dump the lifestyle. Go out and look for a real life job. Dressing up for ‘likes’ on social media won’t put food on your table.

Dearest Le Diva, zitayeni za udiva. Chibwana chimalanda!

Big Man Wamkulu


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