Is he evil or are all men like him?

Dear BMW,

I recently met a terrific guy and fell head over heels in love with him. He seemed very interested in me in the beginning. After we had lots of sex, he started ignoring me completely.  But I had fallen in love with him and I can’t help but think about him all the time. I always thought our feelings were mutual, but I am convinced that all he wanted was to pound the yam.

I am a perfect woman and I have been doing what he wants. I cook. I clean his house. I do not touch his phone or ask ‘where are you’ when he is not home. But it seems he cares very little. I try to always look attractive for him, and at night I sleep in sexy nighties and even commando so that he is well entertained. I please him in bed, I really do, BMW, but my efforts are to no avail. Nothing changes. He still treats me like any other girl.

Am I making a fool of myself? Is he evil or all men behave like this? I am hurt Biggy, help please.

Kia, via WhatsApp, Mzuzu


 Dearest Kia,

He, certainly, is not like the rest of we men who care about our women. That he has so much macho, you cannot deny. But he does not know how to love.

Such men exist. They enjoy to be with a woman, have a good time with them and get on with their lives. They care less for how you feel and what you think.

We can’t deny that this type of masochists exist, although they should have been obliterated from existence centuries ago! They come in many forms. They often pretend to be in love, they try all the cards in their game to convince you that they are good in bed and when they get to you, they disappear.

Kia, you may have thought your feelings were mutual. No. This man was just acting up. He wanted you and got you at your weakest point.

Next time, be careful about men you think you share mutual feelings with. They are snakes in the grass. Real sluts!

You may think you are the perfect woman, but there exists in this tiny world men who are good for nothing. A typical example is this hang-about of yours!

I will tell you what, not all men are like him. Not all men are good for nothings like your apparent love! I am not trying to sound sweet or bitter to your ear, but that is the truth. Think deeply about your life—whether that is in bed, or anywhere else—it should not be dependent on what you think some man thinks about you. Be yourself, please.

As for your question on whether this man is evil or not, I will tell you one thing. What is evil and what is not? The question of whether morality has to do with being evil or not is not for me to answer. Whatever religious literature you use, you will be able to make out whether this man is evil or not.

But my one kwacha advice to you is: Forget this good-for-nothing man and get on with your life. You were just an entry in his diary.

M’tayeni ameneyo!




BBF fired live bullets

Dear Big Man Wamkulu,

I had this other girlfriend I broke up with without a proper reason. Two weeks after I ended the relationship, I learnt with excitement that she was two months pregnant. But a few days later, I learnt with shock that my girl had been sleeping with my best friend and that he had made her pregnant.

She gave birth to a baby boy last month, but she is begging me to reconcile with her. I love the girl, but not the baby, because it’s a product of betrayal.

What do I do? Help me Biggie.

K- Bwouy, via WhatsApp, Dedza


Hey, Bwouy,

I don’t really know what your problem is. What is your worry? Are you jealous because your best friend knocked you out, technically?

If I were you, I would be singing a fine song of good-riddance to bad rubbish. For one, if your girlfriend sleeps around with your best of friends, is there any good they can bring to your life?

Where, by the way, did you learn that she was impregnated by your best of friends?

And, please spare me, how can she come back to you begging to take her back? Are you that desperate? I keep on saying this, I am no misogynist, but sometimes the way some of we men take up women issues really leaves me baffled!

Look at this. You have a chick, she gets pregnant, people tell you it is your mate who is responsible, the chick gets back to you asking for forgiveness. For what? She has to take care of that baby, and take care of it right; otherwise, Section 60 of the Child Protection, Justice and Care Act will be on her neck. On her neck, indeed. Get me right. Unless a DNA test proves you to be responsible, there is no way you can go ahead raising somebody’s child. Somebody who snatched your beloved for that matter.

Wakula watha ameneyo!

Big Man Wamkulu


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