Judge Mbadwa,
My Lord, the global fuel shock of the past fortnight, specifically the skyrocketing fuel prices across the map, has been a revelation. It has acted as a spiritual sieve, separating the people’s leaders from the political magicians.
It has allowed us, the weary citizens of Nyasaland, to identify which brand of politician is ready to die with us and which brand prefers to watch us die, only to reappear on Sunday morning for a photo-op at the resurrection.
I have listened with a mixture of envy and keener interest to how our neighbours have handled this global bonfire.
Take Northern Rhodesia, for instance. Their Finance Minister, a gentleman I prefer to call Dr. Musatukwane (not to be confused with the usual Musotokwane), actually behaved like a man with a pulse. Under HH’s directive, he suspended fuel taxes to cushion his people from the coming shocks. Dr. Musatukwane observed, quite logically, that unchecked fuel prices are a cancer to the economy. That, My Lord, is the secular definition of “suffering with the people.”
But contrast that, My Lord, with the Nyasaland Miracle. Instead of relief, we were treated to the invention of a new levy. The people were, in effect, handed to the wolves while the state busied itself protecting the interests of fuel vendors (Madobadoba). That, my lord, is what passes for “averting severe economic consequences” here: shift the burden to the citizens and preserve the margins.
While others provide cushions, our establishment provides thorns. What truly tickled my ribs, My Lord, was the government’s sudden bout of honesty. They admitted they have no forex for vendors, forcing the Dobadobas to hunt for dollars in the dark alleys of the black market. Yet, in a feat of mathematical sorcery that would baffle Einstein, they announced just 24 hours later that Nyasaland’s forex reserves had actually increased!
My Lord, I ask you: who is fooling whom? This tale of two countries reminded me of the biblical tragedy of Rehoboam, son of Solomon. When the people begged him to lighten the heavy yoke his father had placed upon them, he ignored the elders and took counsel from his “Young Turks.” His response? “My father scourged you with whips; I will scourge you with scorpions.” If the cap fits, My Lord, let them wear it provided they can afford the tax on headwear.
It confirms my long-held belief in what someone said about two stories in times of crisis. The “public story” is printed in newspapers to keep us weeping, while the “private story”, the one never told, is whispered in the ears of those who find profit in that crisis.
During this Easter holiday, one would have hoped our politicians would take the hint: the essence of the season is to suffer for the people and not to make the people suffer more.
If leaders are as ready to “carry the cross” as they claimed during their Friday processions, they should remember that Christ was bruised for our iniquities not so that the Treasury could bruise us for our lack of fuel.
If they truly have the welfare of the people at heart, they should stop acting like the centurions casting lots for our last few Kwachas at the foot of the cross.
Regards,
John Citizen
