I have heard and seen many women claiming to be trapped in a loveless marriage, one that often leads to all forms of abuse. Some will claim to be hanging in there for the sake of the children or to save face. Living in a culture where others’ opinions matter more than an individual’s state of mind or affairs, many will take the heat to please a clan. Even when a man or woman in distress reaches out to her closest relatives, some will push them right back to the fire; to an abusive partner who feels entitled to do as they please with someone they once professed to love.
But reading the Brains story on page 3, given the right information and resources, people are capable of making wise decisions. But such decisions can only happen when one recognises a problem or issue and acts upon it.
Progression follows bold steps towards healing. Mary James, for instance, refused to be taken for granted when her husband married three more women. Even though she was the first wife, she realised the danger of sharing a man even in a society that glorifies marriages at the expense of a woman’s rights. Mary’s first decision was to walk out of the marriage and seek professional help. Eventually she was directed to a place that offered her help.
But she may not have fully grasped the gravity of her situation if she was not enlightened. Trainings by UN Women on gender-based violence were pivotal in pumping sense to Mary.
UN Women ought to be commended for the various outcomes they offered to this community. Of course, it takes strong political power to allow for such interventions; hence, the Malawi Government is a partner offering solutions. We need such interventions to continue and it is our wish that developmental partners appreciate the need of continuity of such programmes as well as offer others facing similar predicaments a shoulder to cry on. This is only possible through adequate and consistent funding.
For Mary and Amina Jacksoni, the sky’s the limit. Life will only take you as far as you allow it. If they decided to cry themselves to sleep every night for three years, that is exactly how far life would have allowed it. But instead, they grabbed challenges by the horn and used them as ladders to elevate themselves higher. Their dignity was preserved and they are shining examples of how situations ought to be handled.
Big up to the two women and the rest of them who are making a difference in their communities and their own lives. Thumbs up to UN Women and our prayer is they continue pushing the agenda forward relentlessly. A big thanks to the media for tapping on such partnerships to spread the word about the achievements and their likely risks of drying should funding completely die.
