I just might be too old school to stomach this idea that a person can sit to discuss her partner or an ex’s sexual antics in public. Out of spite, someone can demean another’s sexual proficiency after a break up. Some will even justify their cheating on grounds that their partner is ‘sexually problematic’. But who really knows about another’s problem when it reality it could be the complainant who has issues?
Anyway, I digress. A recent conversation interested me and caused me to rumble the way I did above. Women exchange among friends is a new one for me. I never, in my wildest of dreams, thought this was possible until this conversation about men’s escapades outside their marriages. The circle starts with one friend bragging to his friends about an ‘out of this world’ sexual experience with a new catch, a side chick mostly and he assumes their attentiveness is mere envy. They let him ‘dissect’ the encounter limb by limb after which they clap and shake his hand for finally meeting a woman that satisfies him. One by one, the friends go to the woman in question to sample her against their friend’s testimony. It would be the confession of a second friend to a third member of the inner circle to confirm the testimony. The third man discreetly goes to the woman and decides not to share his experience, but meanwhile, enjoys listening to the first’s public acknowledgement while the second continues to ‘chew’ the goods. He, too, simply ‘chews’ and let the good times roll. The numbers can vary and by the time the secret gets out, the initial chewer is mad at the betrayal, but the friends blame him for bragging about the forbidden fruit. The rule of thumb is never to discuss your woman’s sweetens or peculiar bedroom antics because it might entice others towards her, so I learnt.
This is the part that infuriates me. Ordinarily, these men do not discuss women they love or their wives. It is the side chick they treat as an appetizer or sample food. It is an achievement for married men to convince another woman to drop her knickers so they can brag about the conquest. It is indeed a woman’s loss to get entangled in this web. And as if side-chicking isn’t a full time job alone, why would a woman allow her lover’s friends to make an orgy of her? Does she really believe to be too irresistible for the attention? Doesn’t’ she realised she is treated like trash and actually being discussed for members of the same circle to come flocking to her? It is that she doesn’t care? It is normal to want to be bedded by friends or be ok with it?
What about the men? Is it so gratifying to ‘test’ what another attests to? What so attractive in going for the same woman your friends are going for without revolt? Where is the dignity? Are woman reduced to ‘not to be missed’ delicacy?
