Dear Diary,
Greetings from the Munda wa Chitedze Farm, where I relocated from the hustle and bustle of your dirty city. With the rain clouds hovering above our heads, we are thankful that your city is as muddy as mud can be.
At the farm, that does not worry us much. We have better things to worry about since our specialty, chitedze, needs no fertilizers!
So, we are spending much of our time weeding the crop and thinking about other crops for diversification. We are actually thinking about ulimi wa minga. Yes, instead of you building walls around your house, with cement prices going mad that the Competition and Fair Trade Commission has instituted an investigation, you will buy from us. Ulimi wa minga is not a joke!
Dear Diary, the muse wanted us to look into the mumble jumble the 2025 General Elections is becoming. But we said no, how can we waste time when the players seem to be engaged in a senseless cat-and-mouse chess instead of being partners.
See, the opposition raised hell over use of elections management devices from Smartmatic and yet went ahead to register.
The jamboree was extended this week, when opposition leaders landed themselves at the National Food Reserve Agency where they found the National Regestration Bureau packing or unpacking national IDs. It all ended up that actually the space is rented by the United Development Programme (UNDP) and the World Food Programme.
UNDP is a major player in the polls. It is to them that the opposition needs to direct their queries about the EMDs, if at all they are rigging gadgets.
Which is why we decided to continue exploring the time traveler in our midst, President Lazarus Chakwera. His trip to the United Arab Emirates (UAE) to strike a government-to-government deal on fuel.
At the Munda wa Chitedze Farm we were skeptical about the travel because Parliament had only passed the fuel purchasing deal a week before the President’s trip. How he chose to travel to the UAE to strike deals on the same when it has not been gazetted is beyond our power to comprehend.
It is, therefore, not surprising to see that the President’s photos with the UAE leader were taken in a stadium, not some boardroom. In his talk on Wednesday, Chakwera gave us more reason to question the trip even further because he told the rest of us that going forward, the Arabs would be coming to finalise the deals in January and the signings will be done in February.
At the Munda wa Chitedze Farm, we also have it on record that the Malawi Government has become a black sheep by backing the Israel war in Gaza. It doesn’t need rocket science to understand all this about deals is nothing but empty talk like that train arriving with fuel at Marka.
On return home, Chakwera went up Nor th for the commemoration of the Umodzi Day. Shunned by the opposition, the event is just one of those drains on Account Number One. Is this a deputy Independence Day celebration? We have a Gulliver in our hands.
Dear Diary, that is the reason those of us at Munda wa Chitedze Farm would love President Lazarus Chakwera to ask X founder Elon Musk to invite him to enjoy a smooth ride aboard the SpaceX for a voyage to Mars. The richest person on earth would gladly offer that trip!
In our view, after the visit to Mars, we would arrange for the State House to consider a trip for the President arranged by the tour firm organised by OceanGate to visit the wreckage of the Titanic in mid-Atlantic Ocean.
The State House spinners will give the right reasons to enable Chakwera to make these two expeditions.
The Atlantic trip will help him learn a thing that would help the marine department on exploration here in Malawi at Cape Maclear. Tourism is crucial in his strategy.
On the trip to Mars, the reason would be that our students at Mubas and Must would have a lot to learn about the universe.
On the other hand, our dear religious leaders will clap hands because the President will have managed to go to one of the seven heavens.
