Many claim to be in toxic relationships for the sake of their children. Men and women have complained about loveless marriages, but are hanging in there because of children. If they leave, their children will suffer, they claim. Some women believe another pregnancy can resolve squabbles or stall divorce proceedings. They would rather be verbally, emotionally, physically and psychologically abused as long as their feeble minds convince them it is for a good cause.
In what sense are you looking out for children when the two of you constantly argue, fight and cuss? You are perpetually miserable, losing weight and going crazy because of a partner or relationship that has irretrievably broken down. Do you even realise what the torment is doing to the children you claim to be staying in the relationship for?
Some men suggest to women to bear them a child to cement their relationship. A baby, they believe will make their union strong and for unmarried couples, they assume that when rejected by members of either families, a child will ultimately trigger approvals by softening hearts. Yet others believe that having a child with another woman will automatically push a partner they are tired of far and away.
I have news for those who take children as scapegoats. You can have as many children as you want, believing they will hold a union together, but this never works. When love is over and gone, not even those children can speak for it. After holding onto a relationship for the sake of children, it will break down eventually if it was not meant to be. There will come a time when co-parenting will happen outside the initial arrangement of living together.
For the woman willing to bear that man a child to prove your love, cement the relationship or attempt to be accepted by his family or him by your family, it’s a lie. In fact, flee when such a suggestion arises. When a man loves a woman, he will not need conditions. He defies any rule just to be with you. Consider it a red flag. Men may stay with you or leave for a new relationship. Love by nature, fades with time or grows better with time, for some. But ensure he leaves you without unnecessary baggage if dating. While it may be inevitable to be left with children after marriage, the law is a saviour in this case and it will speak better for you than in the former scenario.
Love each other with or without children, meaning, the product of a relationship must not be an excuse to leave or stay. How, after four children, can anybody believe a new pregnancy will rekindle a lost love? Children are gifts, not scapegoats for tying anyone down.
