Give not a boyfriend what belongs to a husband!

 Often when we fall in love, we stop reasoning well. When friends, family and colleagues try to reason with us about all the things we are doing wrong, we say they do not understand.

We are in love and won’t compromise our love for some friends’ opinions which are ‘clueless about our newly found haven.’ That is well and good.

But have you noticed how some young women take the role of wife in the life of a mere boyfriend?

It is okay to want to show your culinary, laundry, cleaning and meal planning skills to your new boyfriend. It is also okay to want to please him in bed. But wait a minute. The man in question is a boyfriend, not husband! Reserve some of your energy until such a time when you will become his wife!

Do we realise that during courtship a man is free to assess the relationship if it is what he wants for marriage? If not satisfied, he is free to end it and seek love elsewhere. Now, if you give your all to any man during dating, how many men are you going to cook, wash, clean for and give sex to?

It is crucial to note that it takes more for a man to stick to a woman than just cooking, cleaning and sex! The two must be compatible in more ways.

And then there is a new trend in town— giving boyfriends money!

The practice which usually starts innocently as a matter of helping out a friend in a crucial situation becomes common practice with time. Before you know it, a boyfriend is living off you, coming to your house, eating your food, having limitless sex with you, walking around your house naked and spending time in your house as he likes! This is not healthy.

Let’s learn to define a relationship for what it is; a time to get to know each other not a time for women to drain themselves just to prove a point or convince a man to stay.

Trust me ladies, even after you have given a man everything, if your union was not meant to last, he will still use you, dump you and date someone new!

The practice where ladies take the role of wives before a man commits to them smacks of desperation. Let’s learn to lay some ground rules in our relationships.

If a man won’t take you to his place, why give him a spare key to yours? If a man won’t introduce you to his family, why introduce him to every important person in your life?

It makes me sad when I see women breaking their backs all in the name of trying to keep a man happy in a relationship. If a man is serious about commitment and would like to have a woman in his house to cook, clean, do laundry, have sex as they please and make babies with, let them marry first.

We all have heard stories of how men take advantage of the women who play ‘too nice’ only to go off with someone new in the end.

I am not saying when you are nice to men then they will hurt you in the end. Give a man that which he deserves at a certain point of your relationship.

A husband has certain privileges that only a husband should get. A boyfriend also has his fair share of privileges. Let’s learn to draw the line!