How much for your compliment?
A man complimented a woman’s looks and this was her response: “Zoona kungondiyamikira kukongola osatenga nambala yanga?” (How can you just compliment my looks without asking for my number?). Feeling cornered, the man lied that his phone was off and couldn’t take her number. She took his instead and the following day was disastrous. She called the man and told him how hungry she was. She asked him to send money for lunch and an extra amount for bundle for her mobile phone. Later, he told his friends how baffled he was and decided to block her.
During an informal meeting, the friends discussed the price of complimenting a woman. They concluded that some women deem their looks or company as costly and charge exorbitant ‘prices’ for them. Take, for instance, during a drinking spree, they mused. Women feel the need to extort from anyone who offers to buy them a drink or talk to them. It will not be long after the first meeting before some ask some of the men to pay their bills. They do that even before an a commitment, they said. Otherwise, they rush to bed the man to validate any demands thereafter.
I am ashamed of my gender. Whatever happened to a simple ‘thank you’ for a compliment? Should men fear admiring good things simply because they will be charged if they do so? And do we strive to look good just for our numbers to be splashed around and get a free meal at the end of the day?
Compliments are allowed, or at least they used to be in the recent past. They are not necessarily meant to have sexual connotations. They are free and genuine, unless categorised as harassment, depending on factors.
Listen, it is degrading to parade looks for favours. It is a form of prostitution. Women should have pride and play hard-to-get even when desperate. Begging dilutes all that expensive makeover that includes concealers, foundation, powder, fake eyelashes, eye liners, eye shadow, fancy outfits and Brazilian hair. If you are going to wear Caucasian hair, at least behave more exotically than to lay bare all your life’s needs soon after a mere greeting.
Remember, these men you are asking to pay for your lunch also long for someone to do likewise. Some slept on an empty stomach or walked to the office to save money and there you are, begging for a lunch costing more than their monthly rentals. Some of the men in town survive on roasted groundnuts with thobwa or boiled cassava and water during lunch at the office. They chew sugarcane just to sustain energy levels and there you are, demanding ciders or a meal from the most expensive restaurant in town. Do you know they come to a pub drunk from skiwnja or kachasu (locally brewed liquor) and finish off with just one bottle of the Ndirande brewed poison, holding on to it for an entire night to elevate their status just a little bit? But when you meet them drunk, you assume they have money? My foot! They are paupers.
I am not saying men are poor. I am simply trying to drive a point home that they too have a myriad of needs, responsibilities and are wallowing in debt. Stop jumping to any occasion to offload your desires and needs on anyone who dares speak to you. Its unlady-like and demeaning to the modesty of a woman.
