Hubby does not want me to see his ‘work wife’

Dear BMW,

My husband of 10 years confessed last week to having a work wife. This is a woman he gets along with and confides in. I have no idea who she is, as I hardly visit their office.

Although I am not worried since I trust my husband 100 percent, I have asked him to meet this woman so that I have an idea, when he talks about her. However, he has been playing hide and seek when I raise the topic. Do you think, there is more to their platonic work relationship?

I do not want to look weird when I storm his office one of these days and demand to see the lady. That’s why I am respectfully demanding that he takes me to his office at the time of his own choosing so that I meet the ‘work wife’ in fresh and blood.

Is that too much to ask?

Tina, via WhatApp, Blantyre

Dearest Tina,

Let me confess; I have a work wife too. She is tough, ghetto-like lady on the outside, but on the inside she has a soft heart. She is a fluffy cat. I love her to bits, and she knows it. We talk for hours on end at work and we do not judge each other. We also share office jokes and gossip without any apology.

Sometimes we lend each other money to avoid being embarrassed by uncultured workmates, and of course spoil each other once in a while with sweet-little-gifts.

I didn’t choose her. Neither did she choose me. But like most ‘fake work relationships’ they start out innocently. You initially make friends because you have a similar sense of humour, outlook on life and personality.

My work wife is sweet—not what you are thinking— but she is, she told me her boyfriend told her so. However, would I dare bring my wife to meet her? Hell no! Perhaps my reasons would better explain why your hubby is dragging his feet on your proposal to meet her.

The first and most obvious reason is he doesn’t want you to see how attractive she is or that they have chemistry. Another is that he’s afraid you might beat the daylights out of her.

A third is that you might find out that he is a bit different with his work wife and knows you’ll notice. While he is rude and ill-mannered at home, he might be on best behaviour with her.

Another reason, which we all know is true, is that he is hoping it will lead to love or sex—all men do.

So, my dear Tina, as a wife, you are in the best place to know that a wife at home is a just a concept for most men, a wife in the flesh is always real. That’s why men can sleep with anything in a skirt as long as it is real.

Before you get really angry, let’s pray that one day he will agree that you two meet. However, I doubt it. If he does, that will be a solid sign there is nothing to worry about.

For now please get worried. This marriage of yours will end in tears. Work wives don’t play!

Basop (sic)! Katundu adyibwa ameneyo.

Big Man Wamkulu

NOTE: You can now send your problems to BMW via WhatsApp number: +265 998-110-975. No calls please!

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