If I were Catherine Gotani Hara

Speaker of Parliament, I would take decisive action on the truant lawmakers who continue to be absent from the National Assembly without valid reasons.

If I were the first woman to head the Legislature, I would appreciate that every legislator’s absence is a cause for worry as it leaves their constituents without anyone to represent their interests in the House.

Oh yes, madam Speaker, if I were you, I would realise that it is a grand theft of Cashgate proportions for the absent lawmakers to get paid for no work done.

If I were the Mzimba North East strongwoman, I would realise that it is not fair for members of Parliament to be doing their business or having fun at Bwandilo, Kaphiri or Matchansi when they are supposed to be in the House.

It is even sad still when you consider that when they are in the House, they do not contribute anything other than snoring and laughing.

I would realise that such conduct shows a lack of respect for the House as it goes against the decorum of Parliament; hence, the need for me to act.

But I am not Madam Speaker.