Learn to ask for what you need

Many times people don’t get what they want or even need because they come across as unsure, unclear and unconvinced they have a right to ask. Getting comfortable with asking for what you need is an important life skill. Take time to improve your ‘asking’ skills. Here’s a start;

Know what you want:

So you can communicate properly. If you are not clear yourself, it is highly unlikely the person you are asking will. Be sufficiently clear about details you seek. Be also clear why you need what you are asking because it can increase the urgency and the confidence with which you pursue it.

Be specific in what you ask for, Instead of just what you are comfortable articulating. Be ‘concrete’. When not specific, you leave it to the person to read between the lines. Be as direct as you can because no one wants to be left guessing. Chances of getting what you want will be based on how effectively you communicate and not what you necessarily deserve. If you don’t get it, you are no worse off than before you asked. Don’t let the possibility of rejection prevent you from asking.

Ask courteously and confidently:

Present your case in a concise and compelling way; not with a sense of entitlement. Never assume what you need is obvious and you shouldn’t have to ask. If you are an indirect communicator, start developing the skill of being more straightforward in your asking. You have the responsibility to clearly express your needs and negotiate for what you need. It’s the only way your intended recipient knows your needs.

Ask the right people:

Ask those with the power to consider and grant your request. When asking, don’t be constrained by what you think is possible as you may not always be aware of the scope of the options or resources available for answering your request. If you don’t get what you ask for, it may not mean ‘no’ forever; simply wait for your next opportunity to ask again when the situationis more suited to a ‘yes’.

Now take action:

What do you need that you have put off asking? Ask this week.