My wife sleeps too much

Dear BMW,

I have been married to my soul mate for two years. We get along great — she’s my best friend and a good mother to our kid. She also takes care of my family relations, who live with us.

The only problem is that she loves to sleep. We live apart because of work—she in Lilongwe and I in Blantyre. It’s only during the weekend when we find time to catch up and cuddle.

My friends and their wives do things together on weekends—you know what I mean—but not mine. She loves sleeping and I am starving, burning and heartbroken. I have threatened to leave her if she continues sleeping like a baby. Am I over reacting?

Burning Hubby, via WhatsApp, Blantyre

Dearest Burning Hubby,

What more do you want from this woman. She gave you a kid and you want to continue to torture her with your unquenched lust. Hello, no, get a life.

Some folks may be fine with five hours’ sleep, but others need eight, nine or even 10. Some take too much love food, some eat little. Some love alcohol while others love wine. She loves her sleep, and you love sex.

If your wife needs more sleep than sex, please accept it and see what you can do. But do not bother your wife by denying her sleep. If you are experiencing stress because you don’t have enough sex, then consult your brothers who have wives who love sleep to tell you what they do when pressed.

Your wife—like most women in this country—is already doing enough in that marriage; don’t demand more from a tired woman.

Romance and love aren’t about flowers and grand gestures. A friend of mine had to stand for six hours on flight so that the wife—who loves sleep as yours—can use the row of seats to get some sleep. So what’s wrong with you ‘standing’ for a year so that wifey can get her much-needed sleep!

Bwanji kodi Amalawi, mulibe chisoni?

Big Man Wamkulu

Feedback on ‘Should I trust hubby with a cute maid?’

Recently I have been keenly following the responses that you provide to those that are in need. This morning I was reading about a lady who was unease with a maid who apparently had an hour-glass figure.

Honestly speaking, I believe your response to this woman was unfair, and not just. Men are mentally sexual beings. This is biologically proven. This woman is afraid that her husband might “loosen” up with the maid.

Such a suspicion is not wrong to have. What if he really wants to get into her panties? What if he can’t resist? What if she follows your advice and he actually gets in her panties? What’s next?

You shouldn’t have discouraged her. You should have provided a real solution to her by suggesting she has a conversation with her husband, but the advice you gave was so mediocre.

ZN, Zomba.

NOTE: You can now send your problems to BMW via WhatsApp number: +265 998-110-975. No calls please!

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