Nobody wants to lose primaries

Dear judge Mbadwa

I understand you and fellow judges are just coming from your annual recess and I don’t want to bother you with legal issues at this stage.

Still more, I feel you need to be kept abreast of political goings-on so that when various parties bring cases before your court, either disputing results of primaries or questioning the authority of some leader, you will know where to start from.

My Lord, since I am writing this unofficial letter to you as a friend, do I maintain the official salutation or call you by your first name in this narrative?

My Lord, I think it would be ideal to outlaw primary elections in political parties because they are doing more harm than good. Parties are disintegrating while no one is accepting defeat.

Well, you remember the voices of discontent that reverberated following my decision not to conduct primaries in areas where the People’s Demagogic Party (PDP) already has members of Parliament.

I was labelled undemocratic while most of my MPs were described as a bunch of cowards who cannot face challengers.

But when you look at what is happening in Lazaro’s party, the crumbling of the fold following primaries, you realise that democracy can sometimes be polarising.

Look at this guy, CarryMore Baggage, who left my PDP after being wooed by the Lazaro magic. The way he has dumped Lazaro’s cockerel is akin to the shenanigans of Goal Changer—the political rolling stone that is not interested in gathering moss but in feeding itself by claiming to serve government of the day.

But what is interesting is that CarryMore Baggage decided to ditch Lazaro after performing miserably in primaries, which raises a question; why make a decision to leave a party after being rejected by party members through primaries?

My Lord, in PDP we anticipated this scenario and that is why we are still singing a song of unity. As for those who have been looking forward to challenge incumbent MPs, they will have an opportunity to contest as independents and we can always lure them back into PDP if they win.

Now, have you noted that there is a league of frustrated primary elections losers in cockerel’s party who are trying to push an agenda that is contrary to that of Lazaro?

All the ensuing madness in cockerel’s party can be attributed to the folly of holding primaries.

Primaries are a death knell of party unity at least in Nyasaland politics. We politicians are the selfish lot and accepting defeat is not a quality you expect to find in us.

To preserve political sanity, therefore, it is my wish that your court makes a declaration outlawing primary elections and giving us party presidents power to appoint party representatives during national polls.

This will even benefit cousins of PDP, the Movement People, who I hear have been allowed to register their group to fight against me.

Think about this, My Lord,

Yours,

Mapuya.