Quit betting, or find a side chick

Dear BMW,

I have been reading this column for the past three years and I love it to bits. I learn a lot from your wise counsel. I also need special help today. I have a small problem, if I may say so. It’s to do with my wife. I have been married to her for over seven years. However, every time we pick a fight, she sends me on forced leave, sexually. This can either be a week or months.

Two months ago, we picked a fight over my betting habits. She felt I was losing a lot of our money through betting. She gave me an ultimatum to stop betting or she won’t give it to me. Since then she has shut her door on me and if I beg for it, she says I can go and have sex outside our marriage, she won’t mind.

To be honest BMW, I do not want to have sex outside our marriage as it is against the vows that I made to her. I have tried to quit betting. However, when I see people winning millions, I can’t help but go back to my old betting ways.

I am starving sexually and I need help as I can’t stop betting. Should I cheat on her?

Betting Addict (BA), via WhatsApp, Lilongwe

Dearest BA,

Of course, knowing women, your woman might have fears that one day; you might strike it big and leave her for that hot lady she caught you staring at. But she has a point. Fanatic addiction to sports betting can have devastating consequences on a man. I say this because, I am a man and I bet too.

Odd and petty as it may sound, betting is a libido killer. Apart from dealing your family budget a big blow, it saps energy to zero, especially, when wafa ndi imodzi. But, above all, when one has to wait for all those late games to check if the bet slip has made you money.

It’s not just you bro, all men who bet like you, are desperate to become overnight millionaires, in the process becoming a gambling zombie of sorts. Times are that hard, are they not?

But it’s sad that you and your likes—instead of attending to your wives as responsible husbands—are busy placing bets at night, ignoring bedroom activities.

What your wife is complaining about is that you bwana, spend the better part of the night checking out how the matches you have placed bets on are faring or analysing next matches to bet on, instead of working on her like a man.

Instead of ripping her panties to shreds, you lie on the sofa, smart phone in hand, busy fantasising how your neighbour’s wife will turn green with envy when she will finally see you on TV holding the jackpot dummy cheque once you win. What a loser you are! For that matter, do you have any shares in the betting company?

So, should you quit betting? Hell no! Keep the dream alive brother, but do not neglect your duties as a hubby. From today, hit the sack like a rabbit and bet like a man who is possessed. Who knows, you might win big one day!

However, if she continues giving you an open visa to hammer someone outside, then your decision is final. Who am I to stand in your way?

For now muonetseni nyekhwe mzimayi basi.

Big Man Wamkulu

NOTE: You can now send your problems to BMW via WhatsApp number: +265 998-110-975. No calls please!

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