Sometime in 2024, I attended a funeral. I observed a woman who did not leave her phone alone. Once in a while, she answered video calls in plain sight. I gathered the courage to ask her why she was taking video calls at a funeral and she said her boyfriend insisted on seeing her location to ascertain she was indeed attending one. “If I move away, we will fight and he will accuse me of lying,” she said. Throughout the ceremony, everyone noted she was more concerned about her phone that being present. It was pathetic and disrespectful to the grieving family.
This incident is not isolated. Many lovers insist on video calls not because they want to see each other and celebrate their love, but because there is mistrust and one partner trying to prove fidelity to the other.
But here is where I think many get it wrong. A video call can never fix a broken relationship. If infidelity exists, making a thousand video calls will not change the situation. They will only make the relationship feel mechanical and give a false sense of control. Just think about it; what will five or 10 minutes of a video call do to stop a cheating partner? Actually these video calls can just make the cheating partner master the art of lying as they will understand the pattern, know how to answer them and how to angle their camera phone to avoid suspicions. Once the call ends, a cheater will go back to their cheating ways.
What I am trying to say is a video call cannot fix a broken relationship or broken trust. If you have to make a dozen video calls to your lover because you don’t trust them, then it is time you considered ending the relationship as keeping up with the video calls might be exhausting.
Video calls are beautiful when enhancing a thriving relationship. I make them with friends if I want to show them something or where I am.
But using video calls as a tool to monitor a lover is unhealthy and unsustainable. Instead of protecting the relationship, they can actually make the situation worse as one party may feel trapped and irritated.
In conclusion, if you find yourself relentlessly video calling your partner in a manner that feels like an investigation, please get up and leave that relationship-simukwanitsa!
