Hubby leads fake life online

Dear BMW,

My 26-year-old man is as poor as a church mouse, yet on social media he portrays himself as some rich kid of Dubai. He is a mere driver and an errand boy at his office, who poses with his bosses’ cars and posts the pictures online with captions such as: ‘Another baby in the family’ or ‘New addition to the fleet’. Yet, he does not own a single car, let alone a bicycle.

Whoever does Photoshop for him is good since he makes sure that the backgrounds in his photos fit his agenda. In photoshop scenes, he ‘wines and dines’ in five-star places, ‘shops’ in high end stores and ‘wears’ designer clothes and jewelry. Chonsecho kunyumba kaunjika ali phwii! If you see the house he claims we live in, you would die laughing.

BMW, I have tried to reason with him to focus on his life to give us a better life, but he wastes his time and mine fiddling his phone posting nonsense. This guy, biggie is a waste of time and I suspect he does what does to woo women to bed.

To be honest, my sex-drive is at zero because of his social media addiction. Should I just leave?

MT, via WhatsApp, Biwi

Dear MT

If there is one thing that social media has done to us, it is the defiance of multi-personalities not possible with our physical being. With social media, one can become what one wants to be to the public.

If you are on WhatsApp, Instagram and Facebook, you are part of that global community that has helped us share our thoughts, feelings and lives with others in real time. The media, until not so long ago, was only a platform, to a large extent, for writers, journalists, artists, marketers, politicians, celebrities and others to bring to the world what was going on.

Much as information is spreading with greater speed with the coming of social media, it has led to the big danger of the spread of fake news and, sadly, inauthentic lives.

On Facebook, it is not uncommon to someone saying they attended universities with questionable names. Such characters, if they ever went into a classroom, it may be that it was under a mango tree deep in the village. But, it is okay.

Then there are those women who enter ‘self-employed’ on their career slots. Mostly, I have ended up concluding, they are actually surviving on proceeds of sex work.

I don’t need to say anything about those who indicate that they are in an ‘open relationship’. That is an indication that anybody can go into their life, do what they want and move on. In real life, what is that called?

So, social media has brought its aura of fakeness. Make no mistake, it is not only men who have ended up being fake on social media. I know a bunch of hang-abouts who go about photo-shopping themselves into images of famous joints out there. Yet, in real life they are sorrowfully impecunious. Just like your husband!

The idea of posting statuses of what we are doing is the result of the vain life we are leading, so that everyone out there believe we are doing fine and enjoying the moments.

Vanity of vanities—all is vanity.

I will tell you what, social media is also awash with men and women who pretend to be pious. They will post statuses of Bible verses and explanatory notes. They will bombard you with their pictures at crusades, morning devotions and night of prayers in the mountains.

Make no mistake, I have not become a lecturer of the philosophy of sociology in the digital age. Far from it, I am just trying to put you in your proper place.

Your man will get over it with time. It is like a small boy who has learnt how to whistle. I will tell you, some of us have grown to live with it since we started out long before, in the days of Hi5, WAYN and Yahoo groups.

There is nothing to worry about a man inflating their ego on social media. Don’t be stuck in the dark ages, join the fun.

You are afraid that your husband maybe winning other hearts with his creating an utopia. Why should that worry you? By nature, with or without social media, man is a hunter.

If you try to get your man out of social media, it will not end his escapades. If anything, you are only suspicious of his acts, but have no proof beyond reasonable doubt that he is messing around.

It is just like getting suspicious that your man is having it elsewhere. The burden of proof is on you!

NOTE: You can now send your problems to BMW via WhatsApp number: +265 998-110-975. No calls please!