In today’s relationships, intimacy is no longer a sacred act reserved for marriage. Despite the constant reminders from religious leaders, parents, and other well-meaning advisers that sex before marriage is a sin, it has become so normalised that many people hardly question it anymore—even in relationships with no clear future. Worse still, many engage in these acts without protection!
Now, let’s talk about an interesting, yet troubling trend among women; the pregnancy hoax. Yes, you read that right. There’s an unwritten ‘tip’ circulating that if a woman wants to ‘test’ her man’s loyalty, she should tell him she’s pregnant—even if she’s not. The logic behind it? If he truly loves her, he’ll accept the news and start supporting her. If not, he’ll either vanish or suggest terminating the pregnancy.
I doubt there’s a man out there who hasn’t encountered this ploy, directly or indirectly. It’s almost like a tired old joke, yet it’s still used by many women, especially when a relationship is new or hitting a rocky patch.
Then there’s the darker side of this pregnancy hoax; women who use it as a tool to ‘milk’ money from men. Here’s how it usually goes: A woman claims she’s pregnant and starts asking for money for ‘hospital visits’. She’ll keep this up for a while before conveniently announcing a ‘miscarriage’.Another variation involves her claiming she wants an abortion and needs money to procure it, only to come back later needing more cash for post-abortion care.Meanwhile, she’s living it up with the money while the man is none the wiser.
What’s most heart-breaking about this trend is how it undermines genuine issues and relationships. False pregnancy claims trivialise the real emotional, physical, and financial challenges faced by women who are genuinely expecting. Imagine the man who genuinely wants to step up and support, only to realise he’s been played. Or the woman who genuinely needs help, but her story is dismissed because so many others have cried wolf.
Let’s also consider the long-term damage this behaviour causes to trust between men and women. Trust, once broken, is incredibly difficult to rebuild. If a man catches you in a pregnancy lie, that doubt doesn’t just end with the relationship—it might affect how he views women in general. Do we really want to perpetuate a cycle of mistrust and cynicism?
To the men and young men out there: be mindful of the women you get intimate with. If the relationship lacks clear boundaries, avoid unprotected sex—I won’t say abstain, because let’s face it, you probably won’t listen. But at the very least, protect yourself. And if someone comes to you with a claim like this, think twice before parting with your hard-earned money. Insist on evidence before making any financial decisions.
To my fellow women and girls, hear me out: a relationship built on lies is a ticking time bomb. No matter how beautifully a lie is packaged, the truth will come out—it always does. A pregnancy hoax is not a way to test love or commitment. In fact, it can destroy the trust you’re trying to build. As a society, we need to stop normalising intimacy in immature or undefined relationships. If you find yourself claiming to be pregnant to ‘test’ your partner, it’s a sign that you’re being intimate without protection—and that’s a risk you don’t need to take. Protect yourself, physically and emotionally, until the time is right to bring a child into the world.
Lastly, let’s remember this: having a baby is no joke. It’s a lifelong commitment and so is pregnancy. Using either as a pawn in a relationship is reckless and unsustainable. And ladies, scamming men out of their money with false pregnancy claims? That’s not just dishonest; it’s self-destructive. Karma has a way of catching up, and when it does, it could ruin the very relationship you’re trying to secure.
Let’s do better—together.
