I received calls to re-publish this pieces which was published recently. Here we go.
A woman meets one of her husband’s friends in a parking lot and she exclaims: “Eeee, bambo a ujeni mumatilaula ndi ma nudes omwe mumawatumizila amunanga. Ngati ana akwathuku alaulidwa nde ndi chifukwa cha ma messages anu ku WhatsApp.” (I am aware of the nude pictures and videos you send to my husband’s phone. Even our kids are privy to them). He was shocked, especially from the fact that he did not send the messages directly to her hubby dearest. They happen to be in the same WhatsApp group, the type boys let their guard down to be just boys. This is a group that discusses practically anything— side chicks, sex escapades, scandals, trials and anything to let the steam out. I am sure many people will agree they are participants to similar group which permit just about anything for the sake of laughter, silliness and bring out that child within.
Well, do we ever consider our dependents in the event they land on such information? How do we safeguard this from filtrating into wrong hands? Should grown people behave like silly school children who do not have a care in the world?
Well, I want to ask why some parents permit their children to touch their phone willy nilly. I have set boundaries on my gadget, not because I have anything to hide, but because boundaries are a must. Being a parent does not make me their slave in the sense that I should not have the right to privacy and individuality. My phone is mine and I should be able to get into my zone without impediments. I should watch what I want without offending anybody because it’s my personal property. Anyone who touches it must do so at their own risk. I shouldn’t be judged based on the content I watch or group I consent to belong. Even if it rings, it should be left alone unless I ask for it to be answered. I do not touch my children’s phones either.
I know some parents who literally share their phones with children. You call them, especially on weekends, and the phone perpetually gets cut or goes unanswered. Their explanation is that their child was playing games or watching YouTube. Their gadgets are literally snatched from them as soon as they enter the house and in the spirit of ‘good parenthood’, they allow it.
I am not here to judge or even consider the explanation that some parents allow children to touch their phones for school researches. I just feel boundaries should be respected. Find other means for children to research school work, even if it means buying a separate phone. But trust me, sensitive information does not have to be nudes. It can be worked related or family matters that you would want to protect. When using the phone, the child can end up in a wrong environment that should not see certain materials. And when it does, who will you blame, the child or yourself?
There are some spouses who use children to access their partner’s phone. Not every child wants to browse or watch cartoons. An adult force is behind it. Think about it.
