I hear he is engaged to somebody

 BMW,

I think it is matters of the heart that can really kill you. How do you explain a situation where the man I had fallen head over heels in love with engaged to some obscure lady after dating me for more than a year?

BMW, our love was something that both sets of parents knew about and at one stage I was actually forced to beat up some overzealous engaged lady who wanted to steal my man from me.

Sadly, BMW, I learnt over the weekend that there was some flashy engagement ceremony my man held with this lady from nowhere and there are pictures to prove it. This former man of mine has not at once called it quits because he found love somewhere.

I am bitter, angry and confused but I think I have lost here. Is this how men ought to treat some of us? Akupangiranji zimenezi. BMW, I don’t know what to do, but currently I have resigned to my fate.

Magai, Chilobwe.

Magai,

You lie to yourself. You have not yet resigned to your fate. You are still bitter about it all. If it were so, why would you write me?

I, that as it may be, firmly believe that acceptance is the first step towards letting go. So, you are on the right track.

But then, you really must be absurd that the man you thought loved you ended up getting engaged to someone else, just like that! You mean you did not see any signs that he was only playing you?

Certainly, this man must have along the way reduced the number of times he hooked up with you. He certainly must have dropped the number of times you spent together in public.

The signs are sure. He must have changed the way he talked to you and any person in a serious relationship should have seen the red flags.

Instead of blaming it fully on the man, you must look at issues in perspective. What is it that he saw in you that he should fool you this way? You could be the problem. In fact, your failing to read between the lines shows the problems lies somewhere within you.

I am not saying the man was right to treat you this way because leaving you in this manner shows he is a coward and a liar. He is one of those unscrupulous men who taint the image of we good men. I mean, I have ended relationships with a number of women, and have attended their weddings. In fact, when I was marrying my fourth wife, I invited all my exes to the wedding and they even had their own set for perekani-perekani. They even registered at the emcee they were a group called Past Tense.

Kutha chibwezi si mathero a zonse. There are so many ways to kill a cat. Accept it and move on. You should not make the mistake of thinking that all men are as cowardly as your ex. Chakuluma chakuda but not everything black stings.

NOTE: You can now send your problems to BMW via WhatsApp number: +265 888-209-027. No calls please!