If I were: Themba Mkandawire

Member of Parliament (MP) for Blantyre City Central Constituency, I would not stoop so low as to beat up parliamentary staff over a mere calendar.

I would realise, if I were Themba,  that for a whole MP to lose his temper and rough up a Parliament worker is not befitting of a lawmaker.

If only I were the Ndirande MP of the ‘water bouncer’ fame, I would realise that the role that would actually suit me is that of a ‘bouncer’ other than a law maker.

Oh yes, if I happened to be one Themba Mkandawire, I would resign forthwith over my deplorable behaviour because having committed such a crime, I do not deserve the title ‘honourable’.

If only I were my man Themba, I would also realise that being someone from the governing Democratic Progressive Party (DPP), my barbaric actions were contradictory to President Peter Mutharika’s fight against hooliganism.

How I wish I were the Ndirande MP, because if I were desperate for a calendar I would have just asked one Garry Chirwa who would have bought me one from Limbe vendors, other than beating up a helpless Parliament worker.