Married man won’t marry me, should I leave?
Dear BMW,
I met a handsome broke man in his late 30s two years ago. He is married and I am not. We have been dating and he promised me that he will leave his wife for me. In fact, he has on more than one occasion moved out of his house to live with me.
Last year, he swore over his mother’s grave that he will marry me this year. But, as I write, he is yet to propose, let alone interested to take me to his parents. His wife has not been served with divorce papers and when I ask why, he gets angry and storms out of my house only to show up a week later.
I have tried to pick fights with his wife, so that she leaves him, but often she ignores my calls and texts. Last time she responded was to check if her hubby had eaten supper and taken his BP tablets.
I am a hardworking woman who pays her own bills, including supporting my man’s family. But he still won’t commit.
I am now tired sharing this man and I want to make a move that will change my life and his for good.
What should I do? Help, please!
Fluffy B, via WhatsApp, Lumbadzi
Dearest Fluffy B,
In the 60-something years, I have been on this earth, I know no level-headed woman who relishes the thought of playing second fiddle to another woman’s man. So, I get it why you are tired.
All MG2s reading this piece understand the pain that you are going through. Everywoman wants a man of her own. But you see, women sadly share this planet with scumbags. And these crafty scumbags feed you a load of cock and bull about their situations, including making some vague promises of being with you ‘when the time is right’ but in the end, delivers nothing but sex, which often leads to pregnancy.
Men, will tell a woman anything and everything sweet under the sun to get into her sexy panties.
He will lie through his yellow teeth and tell you exactly what you want to hear to keep you interested in more sex.
If you find yourself head over heels in love with a married man—the way you did—and you have deluded yourself into thinking that it might lead to something—err marriage—well think again! Most men love their wives to bits, and I can tell you with my hand on my chest, that they hardly abandon a wife for a side chick. It happens rarely when the man is an idiot. So you, my sister, you are nothing but a side dish to him. You will remain so until you retire in old age, many moons to come.
Your man is a lying jerk because he is lying to his wife, so do you really believe you are above his lies? Wake up and smell the coffee.
This man loves sex, not you. If I were you I would dump him, change houses and delete his phone numbers today.
I would also run and never look back. But I know you and your likes. You are hoping against hope that he is the prince in shining armour.
So, don’t waste my time.
Ndili nzochita ine