Men and valentine Feel pressured to give gifts

A walk in the streets of our major cities every February 14 bears witness to a coloured sight as vendors sell red flowers, cards and teddy bear dollies.

These are some of the main gifts that lovers give and expect to receive on the day of love, commonly known as Valentine’s Day.

Teenagers and adults alike take part in the day so long they have loved ones and believe in the activities or meaning of the day.

What is Valentine’s Day?

Valentine’s Day occurs every February 14. Across the world, couples in romantic relationships exchange chocolates, flowers and gifts. But for a long time, it is the womenfolk that take the day more seriously. Men, on the other hand, are always expected to spoil their spouses, be it wives, girlfriends and prospective girlfriends.

The Nation sought views from men on their feelings towards the day and what they make of it.

Random interviews indicate that men do not really appreciate the day and do not understand why women make such a big fuss out of it.

Richard Meke, who is a married man and loves to spoil his wife from time to time, says: “Valentine lost its meaning from the man’s point of view. We just do it to fulfil the expectations of our loved ones. Personally, it does not excite me anymore.”

He says he had already paid for fresh flowers and candies to be delivered to his wife on the day.

“I have done it because I love my wife and I want her to be happy. But truth be told, I do not really like the day. I think it is a woman’s thing,” says Meke who confessed that his wife is a special breed who also spoils him on the day.

Ziliro Mchulu is a young man who does not take Valentine’s Day seriously.

“I do not see anything special on this day. It is absurd to think that love has a special day. I don’t expect any gift and I cannot gift anyone. In short, it does not exist as a special day to me,” he says.

On his part, Purity Chitalo says he is cautious with the day because it sometimes brings pain.

“There is never a Valentine’s Day that goes without drama. You will hear stories of unanswered phone calls, messages, unfulfilled dates, often as a result of infidelity.

“As the day draws nearer, I am always assured that someone will cry on this day instead of being celebrated,” he says.

Chitalo also bemoans the tendency of some women who literally request for presents from men on Valentine’s Day.

He, however, confesses that he knows very little about its origins.

“I could have easily researched by now, but the buzz about it defeats loving your partner unconditionally at all times,” Chitalo explains, adding that unrealistic expectations among lovers on the day have dampened the otherwise happy spirit that is supposed to be the day’s driving force.

Another man, who did not want to be named, says he has never given gifts on valentines because he does not understand anything about it.

He narrates: “When I first heard about it, I was 20 years old. Knowledge about the day came when I had formed opinions on a lot of things in life. I do not expect to receive anything either. My wife seems not to care about it either, bola asakhale amadandaula mu mtima [I hope she does not complain quietly].”

But women, on the other hand, have shown enthusiasm with the day saying they look forward to being spoiled by their men.

“For me, I cannot wait for Valentine’s Day. I want my boyfriend to send me flowers and maybe later treat me to dinner. This is what lovers do for each other on such a special day,” says a young lady only identified as Molly.

She says as a college student at Malawi University of Business and Applied Science, she expects her boyfriend, who is working, to show that he cares about her.

“I also expect him to post my photos on his social media handles and show me off,” she says.

Another lady, Grace Mbalame, says being in a relationship on Valentine’s Day means being assured of getting gifts.

“If a woman is in a relationship but does not get presents on this day, it means she is dating a very stingy man,” she says and laughs.

Mbalame confessed that if her boyfriend fails to give her gifts on Valentine’s Day, she gets upset.

“I honestly cannot bear it to have a lover who does not know how to spoil a woman. It is a deal breaker for me,” she said.

Origin

According to rosesonly.com, Valentine’s Day, also known as Saint Valentine’s Day, is an annual festival to celebrate romantic love, friendship and admiration. Every year, on February 14, people celebrate the day by sending each other messages of love and affection. Couples take special interest in the day by sending each other cards, flowers and spend time together to celebrate their love.

Valentine’s Day is named after Saint Valentine, a Catholic priest who lived in Rome in the third century. There are many stories about the priest and, overtime, the stories grew into the legend that we know today.

According to history, at the time of Valentine’s life, many Romans were converting to Christianity. The ruler then was strict and a non-believer who had a hard time accepting soldiers becoming Christians and getting married and, therefore, passed laws preventing them from marrying. However, St Valentine married them in secret. He was executed He was executed on February 14 in 270 when it was discovered that he was marrying soldiers.

But before his death, he is said to have sent a hand-written love note to a girl he had cured of blindness. He signed it ‘from your Valentine’. As we celebrate the day today, it is obvious that not many understand how the day started and what it really means. But one thing is very clear; lovers expect to have a great time on the day and get to celebrate their love with their loved ones in a special way by exchanging gifts