The game of football provides funny moments both on and off the pitch and probably that is why Brazilian Edison Arantes do Nascimento, better known as Pele, who is widely considered as the best footballer of all time, described it as the most beautiful game.
Last week, I came across a funny story about a British footballer, Levi Foster, who was cautioned for farting in referee Bunny Reid’s face ahead of an FA Cup match between AFC GOP and Apsley House.
Apparently, the referee was checking Foster’s boot studs from the back and he bent slightly to take a closer look only for the player to break wind to the astonishment of the referee, funny isn’t it? But it is what makes the game beautiful! After the game, the mischievous footballer, who was ironically named man-of-the-match, admitted to have “had too much curry the night before”.
Another funny tale: Three years ago, when the Flames were a side worth their name and could beat continental giants such as Egypt and Algeria, coach Kinnah Phiri claimed he lost a number of his mobile phones. Apparently, pickpockets would take advantage of the Flames victory, throwing Kinnah up in the air in jubilation while chanting “Kinnah yemweyo kuti wa! wa! wa!” Carried away with the events, Kinnah would only realise later that his mobile phone had grown wings.
And just last week, Gracian Tukula told me that he came across an advert on the Internet that a certain institution in Brazil was looking for English teachers to teach Brazilian prostitutes the Queen’s language on how to communicate with clients when Brazil hosts the 2014 World Cup.
Well folks, my wish is that the Flames should be part of the global showcase in Brazil, though realistically it is a tall order. All the same, in the event that they fail to qualify, I will represent my country well in Brazil by offering English lessons to the Brazilian prostitutes. I hope to be picked for that task.
After all, it is said the best teacher demonstrates and who would not jump at an opportunity of demonstrating to cute Brazilian chics on how it is done guys?
On a serious note, though, the 2013 Africa Cup of Nations rolls into life this Saturday in South Africa. It pains that the Flames will not be part of the showpiece when it is being staged in the region.
So, it is back to the sick ‘ole days when we would throw our weight behind other teams and the jazz in pubs, churches and markets from this Saturday will be: ‘Ine ndakwera Zambia,’ ‘Man! Ine ndakwera Bafana Bafana’ because our boys are not good enough to compete at the continent’s biggest football festival. Sad! Well, perhaps, we have no choice, but to throw our weight behind teams from our Cosafa bloc—Zambia, South Africa and Angola. To God be the glory! Uloliwe.. Uloliwe wayidudula hi..Nang’esiza! [The train is pushing!]