Undressing police officer was shameful act

(There is pandemonium in the court courtroom as aide de camps escorting the police High Command want the Court Clerk to shut up, saying the police cannot be taught what to do even in court)

Court Clerk: Silence! You might be police officers, but this is a court of law and you have to observe court decorum.

All rise as honourable Mbadwa enters the court room!

Judge Mbadwa: It is not often that you have the courtroom filled officers and their men, seeking justice instead of enforcing the law. This is a positive development in the dispensation of justice because it shows that no one is above the law.

Chief Inspector of Police Lord-ndine Tonse wants to make a fresh application to the court. Mr Chief Inspector step forward and address the court.

Lord-ndine Tonse: Thank you my Lord. I don’t know whether I would be allowed to recognise commissioners that make the command in this court, but they are all here. Most of them had to travel from the policing regions they control and those based at headquarters, didn’t want me to travel alone. My Lord, you know with funding from the British Government, we embarked on a police reform exercise to turn the Nyasaland Police Force into the Nyasaland Police Service.

But decades after the reform, we have noted several challenges that have necessitated this application. This court in the past dismissed an application to revert to a police force on the basis that in a democracy, the police must be responsive to the demands of the public that foster that democracy. But following the events of the past few days, we feel this court should allow us to become a force just for a few days so that we deal with some people.

My Lord, modesty and law enforcement do not go hand in hand. Why am I saying this? It is becoming increasingly difficult for us to engage in crowd control without slapping one or two deviants. It is not easy to get information from suspects without pinching them here and there.

Just last week, a police woman on duty was undressed in public by thugs who were part of the protests calling for the resignation on Nyasaland Electoral Commission (NEC) chairperson Jane Answer.

My Lord, the innocent police officer is neither Jane Answer nor a NEC commissioner and I am not suggesting that Answer and NEC deserve that treatment, no! But what I am saying is; what does insulting the modesty of a woman have to do with calls for the resignation of John Answer?

You see My Lord, people have in the past accused us of going to the extreme in handling protests, yet we have managed to show restraint recently. Unfortunately protestors have mistaken that for cowardice.

We have lost vehicles, houses, property and even ammunition to protesters, yet they cannot allow us to protect ourselves against thugs who have infiltrated ranks of demonstrators.

To prevent further skirmishes with activists and human rights campaigners, we hereby ask the court to allow us to revert to the police force just for a day or two so that we can teach some people a lesson or two. We want to use every resource in ensuring law and order and even if it means using torture, applying sjamboks or bare hands, especially to those who unaddressed the police officer, so be it. Thank you My Lord.

Mbadwa: The judge himself is friends with lots of police officers, both men and women, who go about doing their job honestly. Some of these officers are our relations and it is not a crime to be an officer of the law. A few bad eggs within the service should not taint the entire Nyasaland Police Service. Officers, too, ought to enjoy the same rights every citizen enjoy. I am particularly angry that people who stripped a police officer, have been left scot-free. But instead of granting you your wish to revert to a police force, this court has ordered your office to use every resource available to search for those thugs. When you find them, parade these nincompoops naked in public as well before treating them to a public beating. Only then will they be taken to police custody to await trial.

With Emmanuel Luciano

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