I recently watched a live televised programme on one of the local channels. And without getting into its details, I will delve right into an observation that jolted me out of my seat. A defining moment by one of the speakers came during salutations of prominent guests. He listed names, their designations and titles. And when mentioning a particular woman, this speaker posed and explained why he opted to call her ‘madame’. The audacity of his explanation exacerbated my fury. He claimed to have pulled the woman aside before the function to clarify whether he ought to call her miss or mrs because ‘he was doing her a favour to avoid disrupting love interests from the crowd or not offend her man is she had one’: “Ndinawafunsa kuti mufuna kuti ndikutchuleni kuti miss kapena mrs, chifukwa kulipo kukudulirani misika [laughs], kapena kulipo kuwapweteka abambo kunyumba.”
The camera at this point zoomed on the woman and she smiled. I don’t know whether that was from politeness or approval, but that did not change my stance. This, to me, was purely condescending and absolutely nothing to do with matters at hand. If perhaps, this duo indeed discussed prior to the introduction about what title to use, there was no need to suggest she was at the meeting to meet love interests of whether her marital status mattered at all. The worse part? Using a podium to utter an appalling and distasteful joke that depicted women in a negative light.
With all due respect, the duo might have an informal relationship with each other, but there are things that will offend other people such as words, dressing, chewing with a wide mouth and general mannerisms. When in a public space, words are chosen carefully to maintain respect and peace; hence, pre-written speeches to avoid patronizing others. Introductions are one of the most pivotal moments at functions because that is one way of showering admiration and recognition for important presence and achievements. Surely, that cannot be diluted with a heat of the moment cold joke to depict marriages or relationships as more pivotal than what a person is. And then one tends to wonder, was this an agreement during the initial discussion to put up that ‘advert’.
I avoided using specific names and nature of the event. But whoever the shoe fits must wear it and desist from making unsavoury remarks. This woman was patronised and so was every woman. Whether married or single, women do not just show their presence to look for attention from the opposite sex. There is so much women do and are still doing to make a difference in various arenas. Even if they are looking for love, must it be placed on the agenda? Are they only ones looking for attention or love? Don’t men also do the same, even at funerals?
The said speaker should apologise to the woman and entire womenfolk. His comments were in bad taste. If I were organisers of the event and indeed those with a huge vested interest, I would reprimand this executive’s actions. A marital status must not be taken out against any achievement unless it is contextualized.
