Wife twerks at church, is she eyeing the Prophet?

 Dear BMW,

I am a pious man and I believe women must express themselves freely. That’s why I allow my wife to take part in all church activities with freedom. I have never intervened in her church affairs until last week when I could not hold myself anymore.

During Sunday Service, my better half and her colleagues left all of us shocked. When the choir played a sweet Gospel song with a kwasakwasa beat, she left her seat and danced in a very seductive way. Her colleagues joined her and they all ended up dancing and twerking on the church floor.

The man I was sitting next to stood up and protested that my wife is possessed by the devil. He shouted on top of his lungs that she is Jezebel. I couldn’t agree more. I defend my wife all the time, but this time I was angry.

BMW, I think we can dance for the Lord but definitely not twerking in church…such seductive dance in church is unacceptable for me. Who was she seducing with such moves? Jesus? God? Or the Prophet, who I saw was salivating and encouraging her to twerk more?

Should I leave this church. Help please?

Mad Husband,

Area 18, Lilongwe

Dear Mr Maddy Cry,

Let me say it at the outset, I am not religious, neither am I prayerful but your question has ignited the pious me.

Your story leaves some questions. How many of your wife’s colleagues joined in the ‘twerking’? Were all of them trying to entice the prophet? And why did the man sitting next to you call your wife Jezebel? I may be wrong but why did he single out your better half when there were other women?

For that matter, why was this man sitting next to you? And who calls people names during service? I thought your Bible tells you somewhere in Matthew 7 that you must not judge?

I am not good at delivering sermons but I feel your story relates well with the story of David and Michal the daughter of Saul, the king the Psalmist defeated. The story is told in 2 Samuel 22.

In a nutshell, David was dancing for the Lord with all his might, wearing a priestly gown. As he wriggled his waist and shook his body in the wild boogie, there was the Ark of the Covenant right there which David directed to a tent. He made offerings to the Lord and blessed his subjects.

On his way, Michal who had seen David dancing accosted him on his way to his palace and rebuked him: “How distinguished the King of Israel looked today, shamelessly exposing himself to the servant girls like any vulgar person might do.” Verse 20.

Well, it’s David’s response to Michal in the next verse that struck me: “I was dancing before the Lord, who chose me above your father and all his family. He appointed me as the leader of Israel… so I celebrate before the Lord. Yes, I am willing to look foolish than this, even humiliated in my own eyes! But those servant girls you mentioned will indeed think I am distinguished!”

So there you are Mr Maddy Cry, you are just a modern day Michal, thinking you can set limits on celebrating for the Lord. You bear similarities because your shrewd thoughts are very subjective. Where Michal thinks David was seducing the servant girls, you think your wife is making passes at your prophet.

And by the way, this idea of you leaving the church, why should it come in January? Is it not because you are kind of broke right now that you can cook up any reason for not being in the House of the Lord?

Like I said before, I don’t sermonize but then remember that Jesus Christ said there is more to fornication than just sleeping with a woman or man who is not your wife, but also looking at a woman lustfully. Please tell your neighbour: “You have no right to call my wife Jezebel. You looked at her lustfully when she was just rejoicing for the Lord with her colleagues.”

I tell you, slap this neighbour of yours on the right cheek. Wait for him to give you the left cheek as well if he is indeed a true follower of Christ! If he doesn’t and hits you back, know that he is a hypocrite and woe unto him like the scribes and Pharisees.

Get on with your life. Love your wife. Praise the Lord with all your might. Continue encouraging your wife not to entince other people’s men as the Gentiles will do. May peace, love and harmony be upon you and your household.

BMW NOTE: You can now send your problems to BMW via WhatsApp number: +265 888-209-027. No calls please!