Baby gender preference and disappointments
When God blesses us with the gift of parenthood, it is natural to have preferences when it comes to the gender of our child.
With technology, some mothers are able to know the sex of their babies before they are born. Some are not so lucky and discover the gender of the baby on the day of delivery. Others choose to discover the gender on the day of delivery. Such is life.
But one thing I have observed is that while society puts unnecessary pressure on women to have babies of a certain sex, women themselves sometimes either accept this pressure or create it themselves.
You see, a prudent and wise woman appreciates that nature has the final say in these things. Nature and God (for believers) know what is best for us. Like I said, it is normal to have sex preferences for our children. But if one exercises maturity and is in touch with reality, one can avoid disappointments and unfair rejection of an innocent baby.
I once met a mother who spoke negatively about her new born baby boy. When I inquired, she told me that she has three more boys she was hoping for a girl.
Well, it is normal for her to hope for a baby girl, but in the end, God gives us what we need and not necessarily what we want. So, if we all grew up a little bit on this topic and stopped being melodramatic about the sex preferences of our babies, life would be so much easier.
They say it is important to guard our words. An expectant mother should not go overboard declaring that she does ‘not want’ a baby of a certain sex as God works in mysterious ways.
Even after several scans reveal a certain gender, in the end, we have seen parents and families being disappointed with a baby’s gender.
And then we have society which feels entitled to a woman’s womb. Women have had people walk up to them and say ‘when are you having a boy/ girl?’ It takes a strong character to handle such questions with grace and not fall into the temptations of conceiving again and again just to fulfil the ‘desires’ of society.
Many of those that make such demands will not even drop a dime to help raise those babies.
It hurts even more when such sentiments come from men, pressuring women to give birth to babies of a particular sex. After all, if we have to follow biology then we discover that the sex of a child is determined by what men ‘offer’.
This practice of treating women as baby making and sex determining machines is uncalled for. And even so, the men do not have control over this matter. It is nature that determines. So, let us as a society stop stressing ourselves and relax.
Let us accept any baby we get without asking too many questions. Remember that while we are stressing about the gender of a baby, someone is actually stressing about having a baby in the first place. Let us be grateful.
