Do you have an office husband/wife?

Friendships in offices are nothing new and unavoidable. We spend at least eight hours every day at the office or more. We eat meals and practically live half our lives there, creating some lifelong friendships with workmates. The bone of contention is when besties are members of the opposite sex and we start acting as husband and wife in the name of friends and workmates.

I have heard some spouses complain about the closeness of their spouses to colleagues of the opposite sex. This leaves them vulnerable and insecure. They act irrationally to try and protect what is rightly theirs.

So, what can we do about these office friendships whose closeness sometimes can be a pain in the lives of our spouses?

Firstly, I think it is important to ensure they are kept casual and platonic. If we get emotionally attached, things are bound to happen, including cheating.

Once you find yourself looking forward to work so that you can spend time with your workmate, be worried. It is time to assess the situation before you put your marriage or relationship in jeopardy.

Once a colleague starts buying you lunch, shares their home-cooked meals and checks on you occasionally, then you know the friendship is becoming a scenario of office husband and office wife. There has to be a cut-off point as some issues cannot be shared with a workmate, but reserved for a spouse or partner.

Calling and texting each other after working hours is disrespectful to partners. If friends spend at least eight hours at the office with you, is it really prudent to text or call them after work?

While it is easy to justify friendships or accuse partners of insecurity and being dramatic, it is not easy to save a marriage or relationship. The key is to know how far to go. I have a dozen of male friends at my workplace.

When you find yourself deleting text messages, getting uncomfortable with phone calls from your colleague in the presence of your spouse, then you know things have gone wrong. It is time to retrace the steps and draw some lines that should never be crossed.

There are no clear guidelines on this one. Each one of us should be able to tell how far a friendship with the opposite sex can go.

Once workmates start questioning your closeness and your spouse complains, there is definitely something wrong.

Sometimes the best way to tell how far to go with these office friendships is to just ask ourselves if we would be comfortable if our spouses did likewise.

Otherwise, we have a lot of people among us who are married at home and at the office.