I caught my husband with our maid in bed

Dear BMW,

It was a normal and busy week day. I was driving to work and noticed cars parked along the highway. I realised there was a police crackdown on traffic violators and, to my horror, I suddenly realised that I had forgotten my driving licence at home. Luckily, no one stopped me.

When I got to work at around 10 am, I decided to park my car and take a taxi home to get my licence. I wasn’t going to take chances and risk trouble on my way home mukudziwanso momwe amakondera ndalama akapolo amanewa!

When I got home, I found the house silent. My husband said he had a headache and was not going to work. I figured he was in bed, still asleep. My maid was nowhere near the kitchen. I suspected she was washing clothes behind the house, but she was not there either. I dismissed any evil thought and concluded she must have gone to the market early to buy vegetables.

I tip-toed upstairs to our bedroom so as not to disturb my sleeping husband. I knew exactly where the licence was so I thought I could just grab it and ease the door shut…until I heard noises from the bedroom.

I had never suspected my husband of cheating on me let alone bringing a woman to my house. But what I saw was beyond anyone’s imagination; my husband having sex with our maid!

The sight of my maid and my husband naked on my very bed sickened me. I opened my mouth to scream, but no sound came out.

I left quietly, fired the maid in the evening and went about my life as if nothing happened.

I do all a wife is supposed to do apart from sharing my bed with my husband. It’s been over three years. What should I do? I do not want to leave him though.

Please help.

Mrs B, via WhatsApp, Area 48, Lilongwe

Mrs B,

You are an embodiment of why gender-based violence continues to be a menace to our society. This kind of behaviour is what makes girls, women and the elderly continue facing gross abuse.

I guess with your kind of thinking, you could prefer to remain silent when you find that a brother you were keeping in the house deflowered your 15-year-old daughter.

I can tell you again and again that no one can be your voice because you are not voiceless, but because you choose to mute your own voice. You will keep shedding tears on your pillow and think that Biggie, your humble self, will be there to wipe the tears from your eyes.

You have it wrong, Mrs B, madam.

You even have the nerve to write to me as Mrs B. By saying you can’t leave your husband, it means you are way beyond redemption.

For three solid years, you have kept quiet about this. In your weird thoughts, not letting your husband munch the goods is punishment enough. But hey, imagine when all was rosy for you guys, your husband was able to fool you that he was ill only to end up under your sheets with your maid, what more when you deny him conjugal rights?

It may appear to you that not going to bed with him is enough punishment, but look, your man may not be as daft as you would think he is. He is buying his time, a little too much though, that he will have a good reason to seek a divorce. In fact, his seeking a divorce because of you denying him connubial emoluments (at times Biggie just has to be sophisticated, sex is just too commonplace a word) for three years will sound grosser abuse than being found with a maid in bed.

By the way, who would in their right senses, drives to work and to avoid police officers on their way back— returns home in a taxi to get the licence they forgo— only to find maid and hubby in each other’s open arms? This is crazy.

I can only imagine you telling your boss: “I forgot my licence so I am jumping on a taxi to get it. Mukuwadziwa kale akapolo amenewa. Blah! Blah! Blah!”

You may be thinking that it was not just serendipity, a coincidence that in your stupidity, you found your hubby in an act of stupidity. You may say this was God who wanted you to have this revelation. I doubt; otherwise God could have shown how unwise it is for you to keep from your husband’s bed. Read 1 Corinthians 7 verse 5 and swallow your own venom.

Merry Christmas Mrs B.