16 days of Activism Against Gender-Based Violence, whose theme is: “Unite to End Digital Violence Against all Women and Girls, I would like to share my personal experience with cyber bullying.
On November 6 2021 at around 5 am, I was suddenly awakened by a plethora of notifications on my phone. I was bewildered by the unexpected surge in activity on my WhatsApp. As it was a Sunday and I had planned to report to work at 11 am, the timing was particularly unexpected.
Upon checking, I was shocked to discover my name trending on social media, with numerous people, especially women directing insults and derogatory comments towards me. I was subjected to merciless bullying. The reason for this backlash was an article I wrote; Can You Do Me a Favour? which offered guidance to single women on the importance of self-sufficiency and avoiding dependency. My intention was genuine and sincere.
However, those who felt targeted by my words responded with vitriol, using profanity, attacking my marriage and resorting to name-calling. I experienced the painful silence of those I considered friends, as well as the kindness of strangers and endured months of relentless bullying.
As a woman who has experienced bullying in digital spaces, I was left shattered for months. It is an experience I never wish on anyone, not even my worst enemies.
On social media spaces, there are people who believe that once they hide behind the screen, they can type anything hurtful and they will get away with it. They do not realise the impact of their words on other people’s mental health. We even have some platforms whose participants almost ‘compete’ to be the more ‘brutal’. They make cyber-bullying to look more attractive as if it is something to boast about.
Now, after my personal experience, I think I can say the following. Once you notice a person who bullies others on social media, eliminate them from your interaction possibility. This means you can unfriend them, block and delete them. I am saying even if you see someone bullying another person, eliminate them. You do not have to wait for them to attack you.
Also if you have time, pay attention to your silent attackers, the ones that support content attacking you. They may not have the courage to say it to your face, but they will subtly support your attacks by ‘liking’ mean comments about you. Do not wait for them to attack you. Only interact with people who are able to have a healthy debate without getting too personal.
It is better for you to have fewer people on your timeline than having many who only work towards humiliating and hurting you.
While having numbers seems to be the thing, it is also important to protect your mental health. While we can do awareness against cyber bullying, some people will still choose to be cruel and it is up to us to protect ourselves.
Then we have those who use pictures of their former lovers taken f privately and intimately for revenge. As good citizens, lets us avoid entertaining such behaviours. Let us avoid further sharing such pictures and avoid being accessories to cyber bullying
