Wife parties hard, should I get worried?

Dear BMW,

After a three-week hiatus, it was good to see you back in Nation on Sunday last week. Welcome back Biggie. In fact, I have been trying to get in touch with you privately via WhatsApp, but to no avail.

You see, my wife is addicted to the hard drink. Every Friday, she goes out with her female friends and they come home in the wee hours. And looking at the way my woman drinks, there is no way I can beat her at the bottle.

The last time I joined her I was amazed that these days women can drink as much as men. The bar was full with women. When I counted them, we men, were outnumbered—10 to one!

Biggie, I grew up in a traditional and conservative set-up where clubbing was a preserve of men and the only females present were the bar girls or ladies of the night moonlighting for an extra coin.

A friend of mine—whose wife also drinks like a fish—tells me that unlike in the past when women used to cook like their mothers, nowadays they drink and sleep around like their fathers.

BMW, for my wife and her friends the bar is indeed their altar, meat their sacrament and booze their wine.

Should I get worried?

BC, via WhatsApp, Lilongwe

BC,

You should be a lucky man to have this wife. Forget it, you are talking about we men and women when it comes to drinking. I will tell you what, research shows that the most intelligent of people knock themselves with some drinks. A blackout is the greatest feeling you will ever have, and when you get it, you know how much intelligence you can ever have. Save for the hangover, drinking is the greatest endeavour for real intelligent beings.

So, it appears you found out your better half only drinks to socialise with friends, I see no reason why you should trouble my soul with unnecessary questions. Drink some water, please.

It could have been real different if you found in that pub, wherever it is, your woman being the only one, in the company of so many men. Otherwise, your worry could have held a drop of water. But it does not, from your own sworn statement (sorry, I am listening to too many court cases and I am learning a thing or two about telling the truth, nothing but the truth, thank you my lord).

I am not homophobic. I cannot be. So, your worry may have been that your woman was seeing another man. But then, seeing her in the company of so many other women may have made you think she is lesbian or bisexual.

Get away with your misconceived chauvinistic tendancies. Move on. She was only having a good time. For your own good.

Anti-social people like you are unwanted in this society. Get on with your life. When your wife tells you she will be home by midnight, or a little thereafter, understand her. Don’t be a big brother to her. You are not a CCTV camera. You are supposed to love her, and love her good.

By the way, how many children do you have? How many of them are yours?

Let your wife be with her friends in peace. Otherwise, get a surveillance job elsewhere. You don’t have to shackle your wife.

NOTE: You can now send your problems to BMW via WhatsApp number: +265 998-110-975. No calls please!

Ntopwa United finished the first round in the TNM Super League with a resounding 4-1 victory at Kamuzu Stadium in Blantyre on Saturday.

The victory took them off second bottom of the 16-team log table to a place above the relegation zone with 13 points with four wins, one draw and 10 losses.

Davie Banda, Hendrix Misinde, Levison Makoko and Nigerian Friday Osagie inspired the rookies to the famous victory.

Moyale, who also missed a penalty, scored through Deus Mkuti.

In a post-match interview Ntopwa owner and technical director Isaac Jomo Osman applauded his charges for putting up a gallant.

“We came with a new formula to score as we used two defenders and five attackers. Ntopwa has come to stay. This day was fantastic to Ntopwa family.

“This is the best team as shown by the number of Man of the Match Award winners,” he said.

But Osman admitted that the resignation of coach Leo Mpulula two weeks ago, has affected them as they are looking for another coach.

His counterpart Collins Nkuna said it was a painful loss.

“It is painful because Ntopwa have youthful players. We are looking forward to tomorrow’s [today] game against Be Forward Wanderers.

In another game, Nyasa Big Bullets finished the first round on an impressive note by beating Dwangwa United 3-1 at Chitowe Stadium in Nkhotakota, cementing their prospects of defending the title.

The win has pushed them to second position with 29 points from 15 games while the lakeshore giants are anchoring the log table with eight points.

Bullets opened the score sheet with a Patrick Phiri’s thunderous shot in the eighth minute, sending the people’s team into a frenzy before in-form youngster Peter Banda made it 2-0 in the 16th minute.

Blessings Singini scored the hosts face saver in the 35th minute, but Banda cushioned the lead in the 40th minute.

In the second half, Bullets missed a lot of scoring opportunities.

In an interview after the match, coach Callista Pasuwa said was impressed with the performance of the team, saying it has prepared his charges for the return match in the CAF championship against Platinum FC in Harare.

“I am very impressed with the performance of the boys, but we were not offensive enough because we could have won the match with a considerable margin,” Pasuwa said.

On his part, Radwell Mbetewa said despite finishing bottom of the table, they will re-energise themselves in the second round.

“Yes we have lost the match but we will come back with more strength in the second round. Our poor performance in the first round is because of a myriad of challenges one of them being lack of sponsorship,” he said.

During the match, striker Peter Banda was named man-of-the match after scoring a brace during the match. n

Additional reporting Davie Mchinga, Correspondent