Communicating to yourself without excuses

There is an Indian proverb that goes like, ‘Somebody who finds excuses in others has a long way to go; one who finds excuses in himself, is almost close to the destination; somebody who does not find any excuse at all, has arrived.’

Communication with the core people in your life is important, but equally important (if not more so) is communication with yourself. If you don’t understand why you are doing the things that you are doing then you are begging for problems that will stand directly in your way of achieving big goals.

Be fully honest with yourself. It is easy to convince ourselves that our mistakes are not really mistakes or that a mistake is not really a big deal. As long as we keep telling ourselves that poor choices are okay and not really a problem, we are going to continue to make poor choices. But listen, do not be afraid to take yourself to task for mistakes. Be hard on yourself about them sometimes. At the same time, do not be afraid to feel good about the positive steps you take. Feel ashamed when you don’t bother to take a positive step. Feel proud when you do. Know that excuses are the worst enemy of progress.

Excuses are incredibly dangerous things. They provide a convenient reason to not follow up on the positive behaviours we know we should be doing. Good choices do not require a reason or an explanation. If you find yourself making an excuse on something you are about to do or making an excuse for something you already did, that’s a big warning sign that there is a change you really need to focus on in your life. Why are you making that excuse, like postponing certain investment or saving decisions? Answering that question to yourself deeply and honestly is perhaps the most valuable investment of time and energy you can make.

At the same time that you are practising full honesty with yourself, you should also practice full honesty with your partner. Your partner is usually a big part of achieving your goals, so full honesty here is vital. If you make a mistake, admit it and say so. If you are struggling financially, admit it and say so. If you are frustrated, admit it and say so. It takes far more strength to be honest about such things than to hide them under a false veneer. Wearing a sad or intimidating face and barking at your spouse and children at any slightest provocation when you are bothered with something, will only worsen things. Talk about everything that bothers you—and everything that brings you joy. Actually, they say there is courage in laughter after an affliction. Many people let minor problems fester inside of them until they explode in an emotional burst. Along the way, those festering problems often lead us to make regrettable money and time choices – and we are afraid to say it to our spouses when we flop because we did not consult them in the first place. Never, ever let that happen.

Well, this is not a session on how to manage relationships but it is about the importance of honestly communicating to yourself and those core people in your life before making important investment/money decisions in your life. No excuses.

A blessed weekend to you and yours.

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