Dear BMW,
Forgive me if I sound like a shallow, judgmental person and maybe I am. My husband and I are both in our early 40s. We have a great marriage—in most ways; all the ways that should matter, really.
Let’s call him KK, he works hard and does well, so we live comfortably. I import fruits from South Africa for sale. I travel often there to get fresh fruits and, to be honest, my job is more of an enjoyment as I love travelling.
We have four great kids and we’re all okay. Overall, I have to admit that we are very fortunate.
When we got married, we were a cool couple. We were both popular, athletic, confident and considered extremely good-looking.
But lately, the responsibility of our family has taken a toll on KK and he is aging faster than me. His hairline is receding, the hair is all grey and he has lost all his athletic physique. He looks pale and lost. His lips are always dry.
As for me, yhoo! I have gained a lot of meat in my nyash. I go to the gym almost every day and watch what I eat. I dress well, and I am looking younger. When I walk around I do get a lot of catcalls and whistles. BMW, I am turning heads.
I am writing to you because my hubby has become a burden to me. I cannot go out with him as he looks like my garden boy.
I once tried expressing concern about his health, as a way to convince him to try more. He told me that he goes to his doctor annually and has been told he’s in good overall health. I try to invite him to come with me to the gym, but he says he’s happy to just go for walks.
You probably think I’m a critical, mean wife, but I actually give him a lot of love. He’s a terrific husband, an incredible dad and person. But it’s just that I’m feeling frustrated, embarrassed and resentful about how he is slowly wasting away.
What do you recommend that I do? Should I leave maybe?
Thick Wife, Via WhatsApp, Manyowe, Blantyre
Dear Thick Wife,
Let me agree with you that nowadays women in their 30s and 40s are looking sexier than those in their 20s. Our young people today have taken pride in carrying around wobbly behinds.
This is because these young ones are glued to electronic gadgets and endless options of stuff to watch – who wants to go to the gym when they could just sit and watch Netflix all day?
That said, I think approach the feminist ‘I am 40 and sexy’ nonsense with a lot of caution because no matter how sexy you look today, your knees will wobble at any time. You are old and you know it.
A 50-year-old friend of mine challenged a young man to a weightlifting duel at the gym. He tried to lift 120kg weights and his shoulder buckled, he dislocated his shoulder.
I recently saw a video of a middle-aged woman among several 20-something-year-olds in a yoga session. When it was time to do the yoga moves, she beat them all, hands down. But as she was about to get up, her back popped and she was taken away in an ambulance.
Thank God you have a nice booty which has responded well after giving birth to four souls. But to insult your husband because you look sexy is childish. You have come a long way together. Continue taking care of each other.
Believe you me, your meaty nyash will fall away one day and those catcalls will stop. But this man will be there for you nyamakazi itakunga!
Osamapanga chibwana!
BMW
